Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Frost Report: Day 9 

We might be fed up with Jenny Frost's lack of involvement in this year's I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here, but our frustration is nothing compared to that of Jenny herself. "I'm bored out of me brain", she petulantly moaned, though we're surprised that it took this long for that to happen, "I've done nothing, I've done fuck all". What caused her rather foul mouthed outburst was the fact that she was specifically prohibited from doing today's Bushtucker Trial due to health reasons, which relate to her having blacked out a few years ago after "a three day bender". As the trial involved the rather foolish task of jumping out of a helicopter into a lake, we feel that going on a three day bender would make you the ideal candidate for such an escapade but never mind. Perhaps she was lucky not to have been picked, howver, as Kimberly 'Blonde' Davies took on the mantle instead, and promptly found herself being carted off to hospital with a cracked rib. In the show's defence, the injury seemed to stem from her failure to follow instructions and deviating from what she was told to do, so Jenny would probably have been safe. She never deviated from what she was told during her time in Atomic Kitten and she's not going to start now.

Despite having a bit of a cry later on about her failure to make her mark, even considering walking at one point, Jenny did have one task to do today, being sent on a Celebrity Chest quest with Carol 'Not as Evil as Expected' Thatcher and a very hungover Antony 'From Blue' Costa. Given that yesterday Antony was expressing his fondness for Jenny and was drunkenly flirting with the Thatcher child, this must have been a dream come true for him, especially when the task was revealed to be a variaton on the game of Twister. This culminated in him being the meat in a swimwear wearing Jenny and Carol sandwich, a position which few men would want to be in. "Admit it, Antony", cried Jenny from atop the pile of sweaty flesh, "you're turned on, aren't you". "That was the weirdest threesome I never thought of having", said Antony, unconvincingly, before heading back to camp to spend an abnormally long time in the camera free toilet area, doing some 'thinking'.

Jenny has also been turning her attentions towards Bobby 'Cannon and' Ball. Bobby was a bit upset because his 'comedy' partner Tommy had been kicked out of the show that morning, so Jenny tried to make him feel a bit better, tucking him in at night and saying, "I'll be your Tommy while he's not here". Similarly, we hope that Tommy is planning on being our Jenny while she's still in the camp. He'd probably have a bit more pop success, and we imagine that his FHM cover shoot would sell significantly more than hers.

If you're riveted to your screen watching Jenny's antics and can't bear the thought of her leaving then dial 01202 481114. That's not her voting number, by the way, that's the number of a psychiatrist. If you want to vote then dial 09011 32 32 04 or text JENNY to 63334.