Robbie Williams has a new album out this week, and will be the perfect Christmas gift for any relative you don't really like
that much, or for anyone who's desperately interested to know, in minute detail, the stress and heartache caused by just being Robbie Williams. In other words, it's perfect if Robbie Williams is your uncle. To celebrate this event, here's ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the smug faced singer from Stoke:-
- Any couple whose first dance is to Angels is two times more likely to get divorced, five times more likely to not understand the whole concept of love and absolutely guaranteed to have not a shred of musical taste between them.
- Radio was inspired by Robbie's time listening to the wireless during a holiday in Tunisia. He said: "I kept retuning the damned thing, but there wasn't a single song I recognised. I was dead pissed at that, let me tell you."
- When he's in his sixties, he won't regret any of his tattoo's. Not a single one.
- Whenever he appears on the television, a repair man in Gary Barlow's home town is instantly put on red alert.
- No-one will ever truly know how hard it is to be Robbie Williams, even though he insists on telling us in every single interview he does.
- Robbie hates having guests round and, when he does have visitors, rather than keep them amused himself, he tends to put on a DVD of Desperate Housewives before locking himself in his room, telling them "Let Bree entertain you".
- Even his own security guards are unable to stop themselves from giving his smug little face a slap at least twice a day.
- Robbie Williams once wore a dress on top of the pops, making him as crazy as a fox. Dr Liam Fox, that is.
- Releasing the Swing When You're Winning album wasn't the worst idea in modern pop. Buying it, however, was.
- He is definitely not gay.
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