Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Yup, you've guessed it, our Live 8 build up continues with ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the world's biggest opportunity for Nokia and AOL to ply their wares. Oh and maybe save some people's lives while they're at it:-
- Absolutely no-one will rush to the toilet during the inevitable film inserts reminding people why they're here watching Coldplay run through Clocks for the umpteenth time.
- Whoever opens the gig will do a cover of Status Quo's Rockin' All Over the World.
- And it will be shit.
- Especially if it's Robbie Williams.
- The big news story afterwards won't involve the sudden eradication of world poverty, but will be about the traffic chaos afterwards.
- Chumbawamba will be surprise guests and will perform a selection tracks from their Pictures of Starving Children Sell Records album. And Tubthumping.
- At least once technical cock-up will happen during the live broadcast. With any luck it'll be during Annie Lennox's set.
- Angered at not being on the bill, Phil Collins will be found outside the grounds, touting tickets for vastly inflated prices.
- Bob Geldof has given the security guards orders to shoot Midge Ure if it looks like he might make it anywhere near the stage this time around.
- Still, it would be nice if it did make a difference.