Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Friday, July 07, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

Shout it loud from the rooftops, Shakira is at number one with Hips Don't Lie. If you haven't noticed, we're ever so slightly fond of the latin lovely here are TiaPL towers, so to celebrate, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nation's second favourite Columbian export:-
  1. Before clarification was offered in musical form, Shakira often had to fend off young men with climbing equipment, desperate to be the first stake their claim on her decolletage.
  2. Objection: Tango is not a valid defence in any court of law.
  3. Her corkscrew hairstyle is achieved thanks to the use of real corkscrews.
  4. While Shakira has found a reason to shave her legs, other women still searching for one may be interested to know that few men find the Mr Tumnus from Narnia look hugely appealing.
  5. Shakira is notoriously unpunctual and has a poor sense of direction, often turning up whenever, wherever.
  6. Underneath your clothes there's an endless story. Unless you're heavily tattooed, in which case the space is more limited.
  7. The original lyrics to Poem to a Horse began "There once was a racehorse called Dobbin", but this was abandoned after Shakira failed to come up with a rhyme that wasn't "Gobbin'".
  8. Whenever Shakira sings in foreign, she's singing something insulting about you. We wouldn't stand for that if we were you.
  9. Shakira is the most recent addition to the range of Lynx deodorants.
  10. She's quite sexual, but not so you'd notice.