Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

It's Bonfire Night on Saturday! And streets everywhere are filled with flashing lights, showers of sparks, and a cacophony of unearthly screams and wails, though the latter is normally down to a couple of lads from the next street attatching a Catherine wheel to your neighbour's cat's tail. To celebrate what has become less a celebration of the foiling of the gunpowder plot and more a tragedy waiting to happen, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about Fireworks:-
  1. Always place a guy on top of your bonfire, if you have yet to make one, we suggest Guy Garvey from yawnsome indie types Elbow.
  2. Roxette's Crash! Boom! Bang! was a concept album about the gunpowder plot.
  3. Despite being terrified of rockets, sparklers, and other sundry fireworks, Darius finds Catherine Wheels oddly soothing.
  4. Jenny Frost has never successfully spelt her own name with a sparkler. She normally gets stuck just before she finishes off the 'J'.
  5. One of Turbonegro regularly finishes their gigs by shoving a lit roman candle up his arse. At a recent gig, Mariah Carey was said to be studying his performance with professional interest and has lately been seen asking where she can get a job lot of them on the cheap.
  6. If you find yourself feeling nervous about lighting the blue touchpaper, why not get some practice in first by setting fire to members of Blue.
  7. Some see setting off fireworks as a remarkably quick and impressive way of wasting a lot of money, but it's nothing compared to what you can do if you fund the pop career of The Noise Next Door. Only with out the impressive part, of course.
  8. Rocket from the Crypt got their name from a disastrous attempt to combine Hallowe'en and Bonfire Night into one mega-festival.
  9. Bjork can often be seen hanging around firework displays, listening intently and scribbling furiously as she writes down the lyrics for her new album.
  10. Bottle Rocket by The Go! Team is ace. As is Sparkle(rs) by My Life Story.