Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Morrissey found himself topping the album chart on Sunday with his newie Ringleader of the Tormenters. Something which led every single newspaper we saw on Monday to use a variation on "Heaven knows he's happy now" as their headline, and they all no doubt thought they were being really original and witty with it as well. Anyway, to celebrate this, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about Morrissey and The Smiths:-
- The Smiths named themselves after Morrissey's favourite branch of newsagents.
- As well as waving around gladioli on stage, Moz is also fond of putting on a pair of horn rimmed spectacles, a purple wig and calling himself Dame Edna Everage.
- "Everyday is like Sunday", he once mused, which is an interesting viewpoint from a metaphysical sense, but one which led him to be sacked from his job at a calendar manufacturers.
- Depending on which source you trust, Morrissey's first name is either Stephen, Mark, Alanis or Van.
- Hector was the first of the gang to die, the gang in question being the high school chess club. He died of chronic wheeziness.
- After a hard night's gigging, there's nothing Morrissey likes more than going to his dressing room and tucking into a groaning platter piled high with sausages, chops, mince, liver and various other animal based foodstuffs. Unfortunately his gorging can often bring on bouts of indigestion, and it was after a particularly bad night, when even a whole box of Rennie's failed to ease his stomach pains, that he found himself inspired to write Meat is Murder.
- There is a Light That Never Goes Out was written about Morrissey's fridge. Oh, hang on, sorry, we've just realised that we're not the first to say something along those lines and that joke isn't funny any more.
- Morrissey and Marr are such close buddies that the only reason they split The Smiths was because whenever they went into the studio together they just spent all their time larking about, laughing at each others' jokes and generally slapping each other on the back instead of actually getting any work done.
- We've only managed to come up with nine facts this week. We started something we couldn't finish.