Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

10 Things We State About... 

Volta, the new album by clinically sane popstar Bjork is out in the usual outlets now. Although Bjork herself is not in the usual outfits, preferring instead to dress up as some strange multi-coloured chicken/beer bottle hybrid. This probably Means Something, but as we only got a 3 in Standard Grade art it's gone straight over our heads, but we're sure it's all good. The album certainly is, so to celebrate here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the slightly random Icelandic popstar. Who wants to take bets as to how long it'll take us to make the cliched and entirely unjustified observation that when she sings she sounds a bit like a fax machine?
  1. When Bjork sings she sounds a bit like a fax machine.
  2. She's from Iceland. Other things from Iceland include the hopeless fight against childhood obesity that is LazyTown, geothermal spas and a wide variety of cheap frozen products that keep Kerry Katona dining like a princess. Albeit one who, rather than feeling a pea through a thousand mattresses, can pee through them instead. Soaked through, apparently.
  3. She used to sing in The Sugarcubes, whose single Hit, was. Similarly, her own debut single, Ooops, was a bit of a mistake.
  4. She spends the vast majority of her waking life in preparation for the worldwide fancy dress party which she's convinced is just around the corner. So far she's been painfully disappointed.
  5. Part of the promotional campaign for Venus as a Boy involved painting a moustache on the Venus de Milo in the Louvre. This was frowned upon by the French authorities, who were big Einar fans.
  6. For one of her videos, Bjork famously turned herself into a sensual robot, who was then struck by lightning, gained sentience before heading off on a series of hilarious adventures as she tried to hide from the American military who were determined to bring her back under their jurisdiction. This, of course, was from the gorgeous song, All is Full of Jonny Five.
  7. Bjork's Pork was one of the less successful business ventures she's lent her name and image to, failing to reach the giddy heights of the Bjork's Corks range of novelty wine bottle stoppers.
  8. Not only did It's Oh So Quiet earn Bjork the biggest hit of her career, it also awarded her two Brit Awards and an ASBO.
  9. We have, as is transparently obvious, no idea how to add an umlaut onto the 'o' in Bjork. Oh well!
  10. Seriously, Earth Intruders is one of the best things we've heard in years. And bear in mind that we've spent a large part of the last few years listening to Girls Aloud and Daphne and Celeste so that's high praise indeed.

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