Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

Snow Patrol are at number one in the album charts, proving beyond all reasonable doubt that most people turn into grey shadows of human beings the instant they enter a record shop. To celebrate this triumph of mediocrity, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the band who have been taken to the nations hearts as the not quite as successful Coldplay:-
  1. Despite being from across the Irish sea, Snow Patrol are often claimed to be a Scottish band, simply by virtue of having been based in Glasgow for a bit. Similarly Bush are often considered to be from America, despite being Brits through and through and Chico, now based in London but originally from Chile, is widely thought of as a cunt.
  2. Lead singer Gary Lightbody's name is a million times more interesting than anything the band have ever done.
  3. The other members of the band are so anonymous that Lord Lucan has been drumming for them for the last two years.
  4. Snow Patrol were originally called Polar Bears. As anyone who watches Lost will know, polar bears seem to be a vitally important plot point - for some reason - due to their frequent appearances on both the island and in flashback, so there may be some sort of link between the band and Driveshaft, Charlie's godawful band who would be lucky to sell more than 5 records if they were a real band and not just a fictional construct. At the very least they'll end up stranded on an island after a plane crash of their very own.
  5. Run definitely wasn't ripped off of Coldplay's Yellow. In much the same was as Fuck me, that's margarine? isn't a rip off I Can't Believe it's Not Butter.
  6. They took their name from a slang term for cleaners at music industry parties.
  7. They once released a single entitled 100 Things You Should Have Done in Bed. Number one was "Kick the blankets up with your legs and pretend you're in a tent", number two was "Jump up and down on it like a trampoline", while number three was "Sleep". They ran out of ideas after that.
  8. During the winter, when there are no longer any second stage, mid-afternoon slots at festivals to keep their coffers tiding over, the band keep the money rolling in with their snow clearance and path gritting service.
  9. They're the second most famous Snow Patrol in the world. The other is the route taken by the former rapper of Informer fame when he goes around checking his neighbourhood for leaky boom boom gutters.
  10. Spitting Games is quite good, mind.