Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

10 Things We State About... 

Elton John turned sixty at the weekend and, with the sort of low key understatement for which he has become famed, decided to celebrate the fact that he managed to avoid dying for a further 365 days by having three lavish parties over the space of a fortnight, culminating in a massive gig in Madison Square Gardens with all his celebrity friends in attendance where he was introduced by the former President of the United States, Bill Clinton. This makes our 'going to the pub with friends and having a few drinks' plan seem somewhat tame. To celebrate here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the world's favourite flamboyant frontman:-
  1. Elton used to spend £293,000 on flowers. The lengths some people will go to to spend a night with the dapper Killers frontman.
  2. Elton loves nothing more than bathing his partner David Furnish in a popular brand of moisturising body wash. As he lovingly runs the bath and lathers up he always turns to David and asks "Are you ready? Are you ready for Dove?"
  3. Despite writing the music, Elton famously leaves the lyric writing to Bernie Taupin. This is because Elton is, like Shakira, actually from Columbia and only has a rudimentary grasp of written English.
  4. Candle in the Wind '97 is the biggest selling single of all time. Despite this you stand more chance of finding someone who will proudly admit to a Nazi past than you will finding a single person who will openly admit to having purchased the godawful slice of mawkish embarrassment.
  5. Despite what you may have been led to believe, Crocodiles rarely rock, often doing nothing more enthusiastic than snapping fingers in time to the tune. Though whether they have fingers to snap largely depends on whether anyone's been foolish enough to put their hands near the crocodile's mouth recently.
  6. Elton wrote the music for Disney's The Lion King, but turned down the opportunity to do the soundtrack for the sequels, The Pony Prince, The Monkey Marquess and The One Hundred and Ninety Second in Line to the Throne Ostrich.
  7. For most people 'Sorry' is the hardest word. Unless you're Jonathan Ross, in which case it's 'Raspberry'.
  8. Rocket Man was written about Melchester Rovers' star Roy Race, whose famous 'rocket' shot would invariably win the game in every single edition of Roy of the Rovers magazine. Elton's adoration of the clearly fictional man led to his chairmanship at Watford Football Club, leaving only when the rest of the staff eventually convinced him that it was unlikely they would ever play Melchester Rovers, let alone sign either Roy, or his similarly gifted son, Ray Race to the side.
  9. Elton is well known for his unusual taste in clothes. This is because at birth he was bitten by a radioactive magpie, which left him particularly vulnerable to the delights of shiny, sparkly clothes. And a tendency to shit on car roofs.
  10. Happy Birthday, Reg.

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