Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Madonna is currently topping both the album and single charts for the second week running. Hopefully the extra cash that this success will have brought in will allow her to buy some clothes and save her from having to run around in her knickers like a drunken old bag lady. To celebrate this feat we proudly present ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nation's favourite scary looking crone (after Sharon Osbourne):-
- The least commonly used phrase in the English language is "It's a shame that Madonna hasn't done more movies, isn't it?"
- The second most commonly used phrase is "Hey DJ! Can you play Madonna's cover of American Pie? It's brilliant!"
- Don't try and judge her age by looking at recent pictures of her, Madonna is actually a lot younger than you'd think.
- Having Ali G in the video for Music was a bad idea. Hell, even having Ali G in the video for the Ali G single was a bad idea.
- Madonna is the most successful female chart act of all time, having just edged ahead of Billie with her most recent release.
- The Groove is a somewhat provincial nightclub in Bradford. If you wish to get into the groove then don't turn up wearing jeans or trainers.
- The only thing less erotic than the single Erotica or her book, Sex, is dropping a sledgehammer on your own foot, though Hanky Panky comes close.
- If Madonna really is a Material Girl, then the material in question is sackcloth; rough.
- Since living in the UK, Madonna has taken on some quaint English habits, such as playing polo, enjoying afternoon tea and thinking that Guy Ritchie is a talented director.
- Dear Jessie is vastly underrated.