Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

We're off out tonight to see King Biscuit Time play, something which we realise is ever so slightly Indie - and if you think that's bad, be glad we're not mentioning the fact we're seeing JJ72 on Friday - so to distract attention away, here's ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about, ummm, biscuits:-
  1. Ice-T, best known for being a bit of an angry rapper type and playing a sodding kangaroo in Tank Girl, first hit the head lines when a legal battle with McVitties forced him to change his stage name from Rich T.
  2. Lo-fi geniuses Bis once released a set of lego-esque toys which could be built into a model of your favourite band member. This was known as a Bis Kit.
  3. After munching into his favourite snack, inspiration struck Bill Haley, of Bill Haley and his Comets fame, and he came up with a new, exciting form of music that made the legs of every American teenager go all a quiver, and thus began the genre of Rock 'n' Fig Roll.
  4. Half Man Half Biscuit are a ray of optimistic sunshine in a world of deep gloom and cynicism.
  5. Disco biscuits are a type of digestive specially designed to remain uncrushed in your pocket, no matter how much dancing you may be doing, fail to absorb any sweat which may be produced by your exertions and give a sparkly loved up experience, similar to that of the blood boiling rave drug ecstacy. Only with more crumbs.
  6. Geri left The Spice Girls after a heated debate over whether a Jaffa Cake actually was a cake, or whether it was classed as a biscuit.
  7. In an attempt to promote their new, stronger, less likely to crumble in the tea cup brand of cookies, Maryland approached Duncan from Blue to ask if he'd mind changing his name to Dunking for a suitable amount of money.
  8. Scottish girl band Lemonescent received all their wages in the form of Shortbread. They currently in debt to their management to the tune of 3,723 packets.
  9. Chris Martin, from out of Coldplay swears by Jammy Dodgers. Sorry, at. He swears at Jammy Dodgers. "Fucking Jammy Dodgers", he says.
  10. We miss Cookie.