Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Quiz Me 

So! While Bono can't quite make good on any of his promises to change the world, it seems he can master the relatively simple task of keeping an appointment, and so it was that he duly turned up at our offices this afternoon, keen to answer all the questions that have been sent in for him and only occasionally - by which we mean after every single question - did he pause in this endeavour to demand his sky high fee and a bucket full of ambrosia. Still, here's what he had to say for himself:-

Is it true that you've recently opened up a store selling climbing equipment to mountaineers, abseilers and other similarly foolhardy types?

Yes, we've got a place called vertigo.

What was it like duetting with Chrissie Hynde on your cover of I Got You Babe?

That wasn't us, that was UB40.

Do you ever get frustrated by world leaders appearing to listen to what you have to say, then promptly doing sod all about the problems you're trying to solve?

Sometimes, but whenever I do I simply go home to my mansion and spend a relaxing hour or so swimming in my gigantic swimming pool filled, much like Scrooge McDuck, with gold coins. I find that that quickly washes the cares and stresses of the world away from my tired old body.

Do you really think you're the best band in the world ever?

Well, I used to, but then someone handed me a demo CD by a band called Noise Next Door, and I have to admit that they're a damned sight better than us! I also got a CD that was filled entirely with the sounds of various lawnmowers in action and even that was better than our entire back catalogue.

Hey! There's a rat in my kitchen! What am I gonna do?

*sigh* Even if we were UB40, which we're not, that still wouldn't be funny.

"A mole, digging in a hole, digging up my soul": What were you thinking?

Well, I was thinking about how things can burrow down deeply inside of you and become so hidden away that only a seriously concerted effort can bring them out into the open. Thanks for highlighting that, it's a lyric I'm really proud of.

No, I mean, what were you thinking? If a 4 year old wrote that you'd be embarassed for him, but you're a grown man!


Is it true that you took your name from a benefit form?

No! How many times do I have to say this?! That was UB40. I took my name from a store in Dublin called Bono Vox and, hey, don't fall asleep while I'm talking to you.

Which brand of Cola do you recommend?

Pepsi. It's even better than the real thing.

Why do you persist in wearing those ridiculous wraparound shades, even when it's clear even to a blind man that you look like a twat in them.

Because one day the leg broke, and I used superglue to fix it, but put them back on again before the glue had dried and now I can't get the sodding things off.

If you could only solve one of the world's myriad problems, which one would it be?

I'd make it a hanging offence for any ex-member of staff to try and sell my old stage costumes on eBay. Talk about a liberty!

And finally, Holly asks What is your favourite song from your back catalogue?

Well, it's got to be a toss up between Red Red Wine or One in Ten.

Thanks for that, Bono!