Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

The rather lovely Rachel Stevens releases a new single this week. It goes by the name of So Good and, like all her work, excluding More, More, More, Funky Dory - and most of the similarly titled album for that matter - it's really rather ace indeed. Unfortunately, as seems to be the case with really ace singles these days - and the less said about The Faders recent chart position, the better - it seems set to limp into the charts at a none too impressive position. This is, like liquidising puppies and Live 8, a bad thing, so we'd be quite happy if you lot could get down to your local record shop and buy a copy. Cheers, you know it makes sense. Anyway, to celebrate the fact that Rachel will soon be returning to doing piss poor covers, rather than anything, y'know, good, here's ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the only Ex Club 7 member that the general public could actually pick from a line-up:-
  1. Rachel has a degree in astrophysics, and can often be found hanging out at the back of her tourbus, discussing the finer points of quantum mechanics with her main dancer, Archibald.
  2. Contrary to popular opinion, Rachel can sing live. She just suffers from a minor disability which causes her mouth to move milliseconds before the sound starts coming out.
  3. She initially refused to record Sweet Dreams My LAX, believing it to be about a constipation cure.
  4. All profits from S Club 7's Don't Stop Movin' went to help sufferers of Parkinson's disease.
  5. Rachel is a lycanthrope, and requires that a selection of raw meat, plus one live sheep are placed on her rider for any gigs on or around a full moon.
  6. She has webbed feet, which is quite appropriate as 'duck' is very nearly what most FHM readers think about when they look at her.
  7. If this single fails, then Rachel will be able to be found doing her thing five nights a week in Spearmint Rhino.
  8. After moaning that she never had a dream come true in the S Club 7 song of the same name, Rachel was shocked when last week she found herself sitting an exam she hadn't revised for in the nuddy. The 3AM Girls carried out a brief interview with her on this experience, but it was cut short after they morphed into her mum and dad, only more like dragons.
  9. Rachel was clearly the best actress in the S Club TV series, and still feels miffed that she missed out on an Oscar for Seeing Double.
  10. We miss Jo.