Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

10 Things We State About... 

B*Witched are back! *! Well half of them are, anyway, with Keavy and Adele getting together under the not hugely imaginative name of Keavy and Adele to release some top quality pop music. Or set up a Myspace page together, at any rate, which, of course, is the modern equivalent now that we have no need for CD's, hear music entirely through osmosis and can make songs chart merely by thinking reasonably positive things about them for five minutes a day. Anyway, we'll have more to say about their new material later, but for now here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the world's favourite Irish dancing popstrels:-
  1. "C'est La Vie" is gaelic for "Half Price Sale at Denimworld"
  2. Against conventional wisdom, and despite the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" line, C'est La Vie isn't as rude as people think it is. Rollercoaster, however, with its "Come and slip inside us, we'll give you such a thrill", would make even Justin Timberlake blush and think twice about singing it.
  3. Having said that, the "I'm the wolf today" line is a reference to Sinead's fondness for the Furry scene.
  4. Keavy and Adele are related to Shane Lynch, from out of Boyzone Celebrity Big Brother Coronation Street sitting on his arse watching Loose Women. The family surname was originally Murphy, but it was changed for simplicity's sake as people were forever seeing their brother in the street and shouting "There's Shane. Lynch!".
  5. Not only does Keavy look and fight like her dad, she also puts up shelves, reads car manuals for fun and pees standing up, just like her dad. And she shaves every other day.
  6. Like Michael Flatley, B*Witched owe a large part of their success to the popularity of Irish dancing. Unlike Michael Flatley, B*Witched don't make your hands uncontrollably form into fists every time they come on the telly.
  7. Don't Blame it on the Weatherman was written in defence of Michael Fish after he incorrectly predicted that Britain would miss being struck by a hurricaine. "It's so unfair", said Adele, petulantly. "He was just interpreting the data in front of him. Meteorology is an inexact science and he's doing a difficult job under a lot of pressure.". She then added "To be sure", before going home to play with her pet leprachaun and get slaughtered on Guinness.
  8. Unlike the popular TV series, when the girls in B*Witched twitch their noses it doesn't mean magical events are about to happen. Unless you consider the expulsion of mucus, snot and other unpleasantness to be magical.
  9. Lyndsay Aramou has been in a relationship with Lee Brennan, from 911, for absolutely ages. As of yet, however, they've not had any kids, which is a shame as the world is waiting for a race of pop midgets and there really is no better couple than them from which this new master race could spring.
  10. We loved B*Witched. We really, really did.