Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

Having failed to make the top spot in the singles chart thanks to someone 'losing' a chunk of their download sales - no, we don't understand how that could happen either, unless someone turned the monitor round the long way and all the 1's and 0's fell out the side - Embrace made up for it this week by getting to number one in the album chart. Despite this being their, oooh, umpteenth album at least, some of you may be a bit unsure who they actually are, which is mainly thanks to them having all the stage presence and star quality of a wet towel. Fear not, though, as to help you out here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nations favourite band to listen to when Coldplay aren't releasing any records:-
  1. If you've ever wondered who the lead singer of Embrace is, his name is Danny McNamara and he's the leader of the band. Although they're small in number they're the finest in the land. They play at wakes and weddings and every country ball, and when they play at funerals, they play the best of all. Apparently.
  2. Whenever Embrace play a gig, the RSPCA report a marked increase in calls related to camel mutilation from concerned members of the public.
  3. During interviews Danny is likely to storm out if asked about his obsession with Star Trek and similar Sci-fi shows. As far as he's concerned his geekness is none of your business.
  4. Their latest album cover, featuring faceless silhouettes of the band, possesses more life and personality than the band themselves.
  5. Without Coldplay gifting the band Gravity at a time when they looked likely to split and leave the music industry entirely, the band wouldn't be having the success they currently enjoy. This is another reason to hate Coldplay.
  6. Come Back To What You Know was the title of an early Embrace single, and it's a philosophy the band have stuck firmly to throughout their career, returning time and time again to the leaden, emotionless, dull, stodgy and vaguely anthemic sound which first found them fame, all those years ago, much like a dog returning to its own vomit.
  7. Embrace were named after Danny pondered for hours on what the least likely outcome from someone who had just received one of his band's CD's as a present would be.
  8. Like Oasis, Embrace were big in the late nineties, contained a pair of argumentative brothers and were northern. Also like Oasis they achieved a remarkable amount for a group with no apparent talent whatsoever.
  9. You're Not Alone was written as an attempt to make Embrace fans feel a bit better about themselves.
  10. Wonder was quite good, mind.