Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

Our week of Top of the Pops special features continues on apace and, given the general lack of originality displayed when it comes to picking subjects for this column, it should come as no surprise to learn that this week's 10 Things... is all about that very show. So, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the soon to be defunct music show:-
  1. The BBC received a record number of complaints when the Manic Street Preachers performed Faster with James Dean Bradfield wearing a terrorist style balaclava. Most of these complaints came from Manics fans, angry that they couldn't gaze upon James' dishy visage.
  2. The longest ever performance on the show was Green Day's live version of Jesus of Suburbia. It only last 9 minutes and 10 seconds, but for those watching it felt like an eternity.
  3. Being an audience member on Top of the Pops is your key to fame and fortune. Presuming you've always seen your fame and fortune being based around a complete inability to dance and not really being too sure what to do when someone plays a slow song.
  4. Cliff Richard has performed on the most shows, clocking up over 150 appearances. It's not yet known exactly what dirt he has on the BBC Executives to have achieved this impressive figure, but it must be pretty juicy.
  5. Appearing on Top of the Pops is normally one of the highlights of a band's career. Indeed, for many acts it's the only highlight in their career, and a story which mesmerises everyone in the factory canteen as the recount the tale for the umpteenth time that week.
  6. The first edition was hosted by Jimmy Savile,
  7. Many people are aware of the time Dexy's Midnight Runners appeared performing Jackie Wilson Says under a gigantic picture of darty type Jocky Wilson, but less remember the time that Pet Shop Boys found themselves performing Go West beneath a gigantic picture of notorious serial killer Fred West.
  8. The program holds all rights to the phrase "It's still number one...", meaning that with the shows demise, no act will now be able to hold onto the top spot for more than one week.
  9. Video footage of Pans People, the TotP dance troupe who your dad may remember fondly, proves conclusively that there were no attractive women in the seventies.
  10. Sob!