Thursday, July 05, 2007
The Latest Show on Earth: China
Right. Live Earth on Saturday and we've decided that while we're not going to offer minute by minute coverage, we are going to provide hour by hour commentary on all the exciting goings on of the day's events. And we'll also provide commentary on all the mundane, dull, predictable and uninspiring goings on as well. Somehow we feel there's going to be a lot more of the latter than the former but, with the recycling spirit of the event, we'll do our best to make a silk purse out of the undoubted sow's ear of the event. Or at least make some cheap jokes like we normally do. Bear in mind, however, that this plan is subject to change should we find ourselves hungover on Saturday, decide to go out and get drunk instead or make a spirited attempt to tackle the mountain of DVD's which we've had for ages but have still to get round of watching. For example, we have Lindsay Lohan's Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen to watch and we fully expect it to be an arthouse classic on a par with La Belle Noiseuse.
Anyway, that's for Saturday, for now we have our final look at the Live Earth line-ups, as revealed to us by the terrible official website, which not only gives us that info, but also tells us that their on-line coverage is sponsored by car manufacturers Chevy. They may be missing the point somewhat. Anyway, last but not least, here's China's offering:-
Anyway, that's for Saturday, for now we have our final look at the Live Earth line-ups, as revealed to us by the terrible official website, which not only gives us that info, but also tells us that their on-line coverage is sponsored by car manufacturers Chevy. They may be missing the point somewhat. Anyway, last but not least, here's China's offering:-
- 12 Girls Band - Despite having what is clearly the world's greatest band name, the 12 Girls Band appear to be a bit dull, playing traditional Chinese instruments and not looking like they have much in the way of dance routines. Boo.
- Anthony Wong - The only Anthony Wong we can find a reference to on Google is an actor best known for playing the dregs of society and sociopaths, which clearly isn't the "pioneer in alternative Cantonese pop" that the official site reckons is playing. Not, admittedly, that that stopped them originally posting up this profile. The twats. Still, twoWongs don't make a right. Arf!
- Eason Chan - Chan has released over twenty records since 1996, which is the sort of prolific workrate that would make even ants think that he should maybe take a break.
- Evonne Hsu - Her most recent hit was Poem Water Snake Mountain Temple. If she's not the Chinese Shakira we'll eat our hat. Not that we wear a hat, but we're so convinced that we're prepared to go out and buy a hat, just so we have one to eat if need be. Admittedly we're going to buy it from the Chocolate Hat Shop, but the point is still there.
- Huang Xiao Ming - Apparently he is just an actor, although he has done a couple of theme tunes. The Chinese Dennis Waterman?
- Joey - Matt le Blanc makes a final, desperate attempt to kickstart his career. With hilarious consequences.
- Sarah Brightman - Let's hope she plays last so we can make a "Time to say goodnight" joke. And because we'd probably have given up long before then so won't actually have to sit through her set.
- Soler - A duo, one of them holds an acoustic guitar. A warning sign in any language.
- Winnie Hsin - The localised version of Winnie the Pooh. In their version Winnie demonstrates curiosity, philosophical questioning, fondness for honey and unswerving devotion to the leaders of the forest. Tigger is part of the secret police and has no hesitation in reporting Eeyore for crimes against the state and conduct unbecoming of a member of the Communist Party.
Labels: China, Line Up, Live, Live Earth
