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Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

Teen Queen, pop princess and general minx Lindsay Lohan releases her new single, Over, this week, so to celebrate here are 10 entirely true and in no way made up facts about the most talented, attractive and easily bestest star of the teen-girl-pop-rock world: Hilary Duff:-
  1. Hilary has received Best Actress Oscar nominations for The Cinderella Story and The Lizzie McGuire Movie, and a Best Supporting Actress nod for her role in the hilarious anti-contraception comedy, Cheaper by the Dozen.
  2. Hilary once dated Aaron Carter, which just goes to show that nobody's perfect.
  3. Hilary suffers from intense paranoia. She once stopped in the middle of a live concert to ask the audience, "Can you hear them?". Warming to her theme, she continued "They talk about us, spreading lies". She then spread her hands in a gesture of frustration before adding resignedly, "That's no surprise". She then returned to the setlist as if the interruption simply hadn't happened. When quizzed about this later, she refused to give any sort of explanation for her bizarre behaviour, simply indicating her sister and stating "Our lips are sealed".
  4. Kids wearing clothes from her fashion range, Stuff by Duff, are 10 times less likely to be bullied than those wearing outfits approved by Mary-Kate and Ashley. Kids wearing clothes from the Lindsay Lohan range are likely to be arrested for soliciting.
  5. Homer Simpson is a big fan of hers, declaring on numerous occasions that he just can't get enough of that wonderful Duff.
  6. Wednesday is not normally her day for doing needlework. It's far more likely that she would have sewed yesterday.
  7. Thom Yorke from arch-miserablists Radiohead is intensely jealous of the "You always dress in yellow/when you want to dress in gold" lines from Why Not, wishing he'd come up with them himself. He does, however, concede that he'd have been unlikely to follow them up with the suggestion that you might like to do a "crazy dance".
  8. Hilary is an expert in the field of advanced calculus, something which she touches upon in The Math. During live performances of the track she has an overhead projector on stage on which she differentiates the expression 7x3+2x2+8x+3=y before finding the roots and solving for y=3, all in time to the track.
  9. Hilary has no sense of smell and, as such, doesn't understand the appeal of bacon.
  10. We'd really quite like it if someone could buy us a copy of her The Girl can Rock DVD. Cheers.