Sunday, June 20, 2004
Tonight we found ourselves attending the Canadian Much Music Video Awards in Toronto. These are basically their equivalent of our Brit Awards, i.e. all the prizes go to the wrong people, there's a number of pisspoor live performances and it's all ultimately a bit of a disappointment, only with the advantage that the MMVA's are very much a Cat Deely free zone, which immediatly makes them at least 5 times better. Here's what we learnt from the experience.
- Canadian's don't half have some dodgy taste in music, dodgy angsty, pseudo-angry, punk rock being very much the order of the day.
- They will also quite happily cheer anything including, without apparant irony, Nickelback.
- Except, that is, for Joel for Good Charlotte, who was called a Backstreet Boy. Presumably, despite how wrong that might seem to us, this was intended as an insult.
- And he was called this by people who later got over-excited because Linkin Park won a prize, even though they are far more manufactured than Good Charlotte (as if that was a bad thing), but worse than that, they've been manufactured badly.
- Avril Lavigne won the prize for the country's favourite Canadian, beating off strong competition from Celene Dion, Bryan Adams and a cute little beaver.
- She is also absolutely tiny in real life, leading us to believe that the only sk8ing she does is on a fingerboard, or that that the Lilliputians are beginning to take over.
- Hilary Duff is undoubtably one of the finest popstars the world has ever seen.
- Unfortunately the rest of the audience didn't seem to agree, as a rain of bottles fell upon her during her performance.
- On the other hand though, as she was doing Come Clean with it's "Let the rain fall down" lyrics, they may simply have been trying to create that effect for her.
- They should have opened the bottles first, then.
- Or used water pistols.
- Or watering cans, actually, that'd have been better.
- The Beastie Boys won the Trailblazer awart. This is very prestigious and is only given to those classic, revered and well-respected artists who have just released a new album and would quite like a sales boost, thank you very much.
- Justin Hawkins' skin must be melting as no-one his biographical age should have that many wrinkles.
- There is absolutely no need whatsoever for Evanesence to exist
- And Hoobastank can fuck right off as well.