Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Thursday, July 13, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

So, Syd Barrett died on Tuesday and, while we realise that Pink Floyd aren't exactly within the remit of a poptimistic music site, it's either this or we do something about 'happiness' because Lily Allen's Smile is at number one, which we inevitably will do next week when nothing else proves to be inspirational for us. Anyway, here's ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nation's favourite bunch of miserable old gits with far too much time on their hands, time which is generally spent playing guitar solos:-
  1. Fluctuating sales of Dark Side of the Moon are used to monitor both the aging nature of the population and the amount of moody teenagers who need to get more sunlight.
  2. Roger Waters, who left the band in an argument over whose turn it was to buy the digestives, now makes a living working the kids party circuit as Cheery Chuck, The Chortlesome Clown.
  3. The children's choir used for Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2) took the anti-education message of the song to heart and attempted to stage a revolution, chanting "We don't need no education" as they stormed the headteacher's office. It was swiftly brought under control, however, once the head of English was brought in, who pointed out that "We don't need no education" contains a double negative and, as such, they did need to be educated. Subdued, the kids returned to their classrooms.
  4. The Piper at The Gates of Dawn was a title of a recent Doctor Who episode. It was about horseradishes.
  5. After going a tad looney tunes due to his ever so slightly excessive consumption of drugs, Syd Barrett supplemented his income from the few Pink Floyd releases he played upon by claiming Job Seekers allowance. Sign on, you crazy diamond.
  6. There's a theory that Dark Side of the Moon synchs up perfectly with the visuals for The Wizard of Oz, a theory which makes perfect sense until you consider the fact that the running time for Wizard of Oz is twice that of Dark Side of the Moon. However! If you play Pink's Missundaztood followed by the audio book version of Keith Floyd's Mediterranean Recipes everything makes perfect sense. Except for why you even own the audio book version of Keith Floyd's Mediterranean Recipes.
  7. If you ever go to a Pink Floyd concert, it's quite possible to leave the arena, go to the toilet, have a pint, look at the merchandise stall, get involved in a long, protracted conversation about bugling with a man from Dusseldorf, take a jet-ski lesson and watch the sunrise over Stonehenge and, by the time you get back, they'll still be playing the same song, only now it's in a slightly different key.
  8. Depending on how you see it, The Wall is either Roger Water's harrowing account of the mental pressures that success and fame brings, the self-pitying whining of an overprivileged twat with all the self-awareness of a pebble, a godawful movie starring Bob Geldof, or the thing that stops the roof from falling down.
  9. Pink Floyd are celebrated for their over the top light shows, which dazzle and amaze in equal measure. Most of this celebration comes from the offices of the local electricity board.
  10. See Emily Play is really rather good, you know.