Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

After spending a frankly ridiculous amount of time on the top spot, Gnarls Barkley have decided to bow out both with dignity and without having their CD's shoved up an awkwardly positioned part of their body if we have to hear Crazy one more sodding time by deleting the single from the stores. To celebrate this here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about other similarly impressive feats of Chart Endurance:-
  1. Girls Aloud are currently celebrating their 53rd week at the number one spot. In our head.
  2. Wet Wet Wet's 15 week long reign at the top spot was not, unsurprisingly, down to the tastes of the British public, but was in actual fact part of a government cover up designed to convince the population that love actually was all around. It later transpired that, thanks to an army exercise gone wrong, it was Agent Orange that was all around, hence the strange feelings in peoples fingers and toes.
  3. Any act that spends more than 10 weeks on the chart gets a home visit from Top 40 king Mark Goodier. Whether they want it or not.
  4. The record which spent the shortest time on the charts was Together at Last, a single by Chico, Gary Glitter and Toploader which included their infamous take on songs from the Chitty Chitty Bang band musical. Their chart run lasted for a whole five minutes.
  5. The only person to have a number one from each decade is Cliff Richard. But that's only because most people lose interest in buying singles once they reach their forties.
  6. Bryan Adams lasted 16 weeks at number one with Everything I Do (I Do it For You), and it became the gift of choice from many boyfriends to their girlfriends. The fact that for most girlfriends the one single, solitary thing they didn't want their boyfriend to do for them was buy that godawful single went straight over their heads.
  7. By staying at number one for so long, Gnarls Barkley join an exclusive club. It's called the Jesus Wept, Is it Still There?! Collective
  8. Vanilla once found themselves spending 13 weeks at Number One. Then their landlord put the rent up and they had to move to Number 26 instead, which was cheaper but didn't have a working shower.
  9. The song which has spent the longest on the chart is JK and Joel are Tossers by Radiohead. It has currently spent over two years in the top 40, much to Jk and Joels annoyance, but Bruno Brookes' delight.
  10. Sandi Thom isn't really going to be a hell of a lot better, is she?