Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

So, yes. Old habits die hard and we once again return to our lazy approach to updating. But it's not our fault. After all, we could hardly have written anything on Monday, what with the historical 'events' of that day. It's hard to believe that now, five years on from those heinous acts, nothing seems to have been down about the problem. No matter how many tough words are spoken by our leaders, no matter how many action plans are laid out, the issue remains a sad blot on the state of our world. Five years on and STILL ELEPHANTS ARE DYING! Did no one listen to Lee Ryan? We did, so mainly spent Monday thinking about elephants.

And Tuesday as well, for that matter. They're big animals.

But no matter! Our mind is once again focused on the world of the present, and we learn with great joy and satisfaction that the Scissor Sisters have reached the top spot with the ever ace Don't Feel Like Dancing. To celebrate, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nation's favourite disco dancing New Yorkers - former Mayor Giuliani excepted, of course:-
  1. Take Your Mama Out was not just a hit single for the band, it also helped to publicise their little known matricide business.
  2. Both Jake Shears and Del Marquis keep a close eye on the yellow pages in the hope that some unscrupulous businessman starts up either Jake's Shears, a hedge trimming service, or Del's Marquees, a tent hire emporium so that they can sell their asses. Both Paddy and Ana are said to be unphased by the prospect of a fireworks or robotic shop being set up in their name. Babydaddy is currently involved in suing every fertility clinic in the world.
  3. Scissor Sisters is a slang term for lesbians, which came as something to a shock to the members of a RoSPA campaign aimed at cutting down the number of schoolkids whose eyes were gouged out by sharp objects, the Safety Scissor Sisters
  4. Jake runs the band as a dictatorship and every decision they make has to be approved by him. He recently vetoed plans for a trip to visit the Polish city of Gdansk, known by another name during its occupation by Germany,as he "didn't feel like Danszig".
  5. Jake can move Ana Matronic's eyes by flicking a switch in the back of her head. She's like Action Man in that respect. And one other.
  6. Paddy Boom is quite interesting for a drummer. But he is still a drummer.
  7. The Scissor Sisters come from New York. Other things to come from New York include giant pretzels, steam from manhole covers and murder.
  8. Once you've learnt the guitar tabs to their songs, you'll find at least one which you can comfortably strum.
  9. Babydaddy is currently under investigation by the CSA. Not because they reckon he owes any child maintenance, just cause they're really into the Bear scene.
  10. Apparently one of them is gay.