Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The giant, carbon spewing juggernaut that is Al Gore's Live Earth's gigs continues on apace. The latest addition to the series of concerts which appeal mainly to those who'd like to be seen to be making a difference, rather than those who might actually make a difference is the line up for the Sydney gig in Australia. Given our ignorance of much of the line-up we can only assume that the artists are at the cutting edge of Australian music as otherwise it contains about as many stars as can be seen in the night skies of the more smog-ridden parts of London. Still, just because we haven't heard of them doesn't mean we're not going to make jokes about them. After all, our lack of knowledge has never stopped us in the past. Here's the skinny:-
- Crowded House - Surely taking our weather with us is the last thing we need in these days of global warming. Our weather should be staying exactly where it is, not leaping from winter to summer with only a minor tornado to indicate where spring should have been.
- Jack Johnson - A singer songwriter whose very name indicates exactly how dull he is.
- Wolfmother - Like watching Led Zeppelin perform at the bottom of a muddy pool. Only without the joyous possibility of eventual drowning.
- The John Butler Trio - To his family, John Butler is "a much loved husband, father, brother, and son.". To his fanbase he is, it says here anyway, "purely about the musical journey, the groove of the Trio, the soul of the guitar and the honesty and integrity of John’s lyrics" and to emerging independent artists John is "an inspiration and patron to young acts struggling to establish themselves in an increasingly difficult and diluted marketplace.". To us, however, it's a bit like listening to the Spindoctors if they didn't know their way around an electric guitar and not the sort of thing we ever want to experience again. Truly the John Butler Trio is a broad church, even if most members appear not to have a clue.
- Missy Higgins - She's a bit like her name sake Missy Eliot. In much the same way 'chalk' is a bit like 'cheese'.
- Eskimo Joe - Appear to contain neither Eskimos nor Joes. We are currently putting in a complaint to the Australian equivalent of trading standards and hope to cease the bands activities within a matter of weeks.
- Sneaky Sound System - Despite having supported Jamiroquai, they seem, from a quick look at their MySpace at any rate, to be none too shabby indeed. Even if this is the first time the word "Sneaky" has been used outside of the Beano in about 17 years.
- Paul Kelly - The original inspiration for Mika's Grace Kelly. Fact.
- Ghostwriters - If there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Not these guys, that's for sure. Indeed, it's hard to know exactly why you ever would call them. Not unless you have a burning desire to hear some embarrassingly derivative bluesy rock, that is. Which seems remarkably unlikely.
- Toni Collette & the Finish - Yes, that Toni Collette. What are they like? They're terrible, Muriel.
- Blue King Brown - Natasha Bedingfield goes reggae. Jah Wanna Have Your Babies, perhaps? Please yourselves.