Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Friday, August 27, 2004

Thoughts of the Pops 

The overindulgence in Fringe related activities that we mentioned in the previous posts appears to have finally caught up with us as we are currently rotten with the cold. We've decided, therefore, to have a night in and suffer miserably instead. But never mind! It's not for nothing that we're called Mr Brightside, indeed we're not called Mr Brightside at all, Grumpychops appears to be a more popular nickname, but we've decided to use our time wisely anyway and allow ourselves to once again be educated by Top of the Pops. Here's what we learnt:-

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

14 Days Since We Went Away 

Sorry about the fact that we haven't done any updates for a fortnight, but we've been a bit busy these past weeks as the Edinburgh Fringe is on and we've been off seeing lots of shows which doesn't really leave a lot of time for commentating on the always interesting and bizarre world of Pop. We have seen lots of ace shows though, and even stayed in the audience for a 24 hour long comedy show. Fortunately, thanks to our Nicola obsession, we're very good at watching one person for long periods of time, even if we felt a bit uncomfortable not having bushes to hide behind at first. Don't worry though, normal service should be resumed by Monday at the latest. And by normal we mean our usual infrequent updates, but without the luxury of an excuse to explain it.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Love Machine Love 

We had very high hopes for this track after seeing the 10 second video preview on CD:UK on Saturday. Admittedly this wasn't anything to do with what little we could hear of the tune, but was down to the fact that Nicola was wearing the shortest dress out of the girls, which marks the first time since No Good Advice that she has been given the best outfit to wear. Anything which has any sort of Nicola-centric vibe to it must clearly be something earth-shatteringly fantastic and, we're quite satisfied to state, without over-exaggeration or hyperbole (NOTE: Writer prone to both over-exaggeration and hyperbole) that Girls Aloud's new single, Love Machine is nothing short of fucking amazing.

They really have done it again. Just when you think that that maybe they've exhausted the well of aceness where they consistently seem to draw their tunes, they pull out another bucket of fun and melody and quality pop goodness with an ease that makes you wonder why other bands seem to have such problems grabbing hold of the rope and tugging hard on it. Alas, the only thing that seems to come out when most groups tug hard is a load of toss that just needs to be mopped up with a Kleenex and thrown away.

Love Machine has a slight banjo twang to it which is reminiscent of Terrorvision's Fists of Fury, which is no bad thing in the slightest. Lyrically seems to be about the girls' overpowering hornyness and with GA you can actually believe it. When Blue, for example, sing about making love in the back of a car, you can't quite imagine them actually doing it as, for all their pretence at being hard boys and a bit laddish, you kinda get the impression that the nearest they've come to doing anything a bit naughty with a lady in a car is waiting too long at a parking meter. Except for Lee, of course, who still seems to be at the stage where he thinks girls smell and would probably fire his catapult at them if he wasn't so scared of his dad's slipper. Nicola and her Backing Band of Girls, however, actually look like they mean it. Not in a desperate, sluttish, slapperish way which is so beloved of Holly Valance, Jennifer Ellison and Jenny Frost, but in a normal healthy appetite kinda way. When they sing "I need a squeeze a day/Instead of this negligee/What will the neighbours say?", you know they're singing from experience, while the implication loaded "This time" line which follows that is excellence in itself.

While it is, admittedly, not as excitingly innovative as previous singles have been, it's still a record that stands head and shoulders above most of the records we've heard this year and makes us even more excited about the second album than is really healthy for an adult male. One day, perhaps all pop records will be this good. Although this will probably never happen while the Blazin' Squad are able to spawn.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Love Love Machine 

Fuck me, isn't the new Girls Aloud single fantastic? Yes. Yes it is. We'll offer a slightly more verbose view on it's genius tomorrow, but for now, your required listening is availiable via Girls Aloud United. Seriously, we're not normally ones to advocate this sort of illegality, but download it now, it really is that good.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Chart Attack 

Not even an angry e-mail from a Soul Asylum fan after last weeks Chart Attack. Never mind, lets see who's moving and shaking this week.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Pop: The Question 

And welcome to another brand new feature in which we answer questions posed in the lyrics of pop songs. Regular readers may well consider the 'new' epithet to be somewhat dubious, given that at first glance it would appear to be exactly the same as the old TiaPL Spleen feature, only without the annoying internal organ based conceit. Second and third glances will confirm this, but we've decided to go for a more straightforward approach this time, given that the Spleen was originally set up to parody the NME Brain feature, a feature which was dropped only a couple of weeks after we unleashed the might of our satirical wit upon it. Coincidence? Well, yes, but never mind.

The first question we're going to answer has been posed by Miss Betty Boo who asks "Where are you baby?". First stop was Ask Jeeves, who wasn't hugely helpful and pointed us in the direction of sites on baby development which was about as useful to us as Jenny Frost. We don't really feel there should be much need for sites of that nature anyway as baby development essentially runs "unable to control bowels" to "able to control bowels", with a lot of crying and puking inbetween, which is very similar to the career of most rock stars.

If her video is to be believed, and we assume that all pop videos are documentaries, she hasn't just been sitting around waiting for this site to exist to get an answer to her question. She's put in some effort herself to find her baby. Unfortunately Miss Boo felt that the best place to go searching for her baby was on the surface of a strange alien planet while dressed in silver. While space travel to unknown lands in foxy outfits is a normal, everyday occurrence for pop princesses, it's not something which happens on a regular basis for ordinary mortals, so she was essentially wasting her time and money looking there, even if it did make for an ace promo.

So, Betty's own search was essentially worthless, the song even ending with the desperate plea for her baby to use the telephone service to get in touch with her. Clearly a man who would run off and leave the lovely pop rapper behind is not a bright man. Indeed, some might even suggest that he's nothing short of a loser, which is why, to find her baby, we decided to go and question the tramps hanging around underneath the railway bridge to see if any of them knew where he was. Alas, all they knew was the cheapest place to buy Special Brew and more swearwords than the entire editorial staff of Viz, so we're still none the wiser as to where her baby is. Sorry. But at least we tried, we even contacted the National Missing Persons Helpline, but they got very cross with us. At least they can rest happily knowing that they know even more swearwords than the tramps did.

If you know of a lyrical question that needs to be resolved, then why not let us know by e-mailing us and we'll answer it to the very best of our abilities, i.e. not very well.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Chart Attack 

And so, we continue on with our surprisingly controversial Chart Attack feature. Let's see who we can offend this week...That's it for this week, if you want to tell us that we're a bit of a twat for no other reason than the fact that we think a band that you like are a bit pish, or maybe you've always thought that we're an unfunny, over-opinionated cock and are desperate to let us know of this fact, then please, e-mail us and let us know.