Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

Unfortunately it's not Army of Lovers who are releasing a single called Lee Ryan this week. It is, in fact, Lee Ryan, who's chosen to stun a world still reeling from the discovery that the British public considered James Blunt to have released the bestest record last week by inflicting his own sorry mess on the charts with his debut single, Army of Lovers. It's availaible in all good record shops right now and, if there's any justice in the world, there'll still be loads of copies left should you feel the need to satisfy some sort of masochistic desire by buying a copy. To celebrate we were going to give you ten things about Lee, but we soon realised that there just aren't that many interesting things to be said about him, so instead we proudly present ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about his former boy band, Blue:-
  1. Blue were originally called Street Harmony, but changed their name due to audience demand. Said Duncan of the change: "It was all down to our fans. Everytime we did a gig they would all be shouting 'Blooo! Blooo!'. Something like that anyway." Blue was chosen after they rejected the audience's other suggestions of Get Off and You're Shit And You Know You Are.
  2. No-one has ever successfully remembered which member is Simon and which member is Antony.
  3. Lee is famous for saying the wrong thing at the time. Famous examples include his "What about the elephants!?" comment shortly after 9/11, suggesting that rather than invest in an electric blanket, the best way to warm up your bed is to pee in it and, most hilariously of all, suggesting that the latest Blue single was really good and that everyone should buy a copy.
  4. Duncan has never managed to succesfully perform a famous tongue twister about red and yellow articulated vehicles, much to his annoyance and embarassment. Judging by his attempts, lorry seems to be the hardest word.
  5. Their top 3 hit, One Love, was inspired by Lee's crush on Queen Elizabeth II.
  6. Trainee lawyers are required to study the lyrics to All Rise as an example of how to build a watertight case.
  7. Other famous Blue's from history include Blue Monday, New Order's hymn to a malfunctioning drum machine; Blue Peter, a TV programme for middle class children who could really do with a slap; and Betty Blue, the only film not starring Adam Sandler that Lee Ryan has watched all the way through.
  8. Kool and the Gang have absolutely no regrets about teaming up with Blue for a reworking of Get Down on It.
  9. Blue once approached M&M's with the suggestion that they produce a limited edition run of sweets containing only blue M&M's. They declined politely, stating that they weren't inclined to take up the option because "No-one gives a shit about Blue."
  10. Peanut M&M's are far superior to the chocolate ones. But the biscuit ones are pretty good too.