Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

With all the invevitablity of some of the X Factor auditionees being 'a bit ropey',Justin Timberlake has shot straight to the number one spot with the really rather good, Sexyback. We particularly like the bit where he goes "Take it to the chorus", despite there not really being any discernible chorus to speak of. Anyway, to celebrate this fact, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the nation's favourite fedora wearing popstar:-
  1. Sexyback was written mainly to remind Justin to take his copy of Sexy by Joyce Carol Oates back to his local library. He's already racked up $21.73 worth of late fines.
  2. Before finding success as a solo star, Justin sang in the famous nineties band, Elastica.
  3. Famously Cry Me a River was written about Justin's relationship with Britney Spears. Alas the proposed follow up tracks Oh, Wah-Wah, Boo-Fucking-Hoo and Look! I'm Playing The World's Smallest Violin remain sadly unreleased.
  4. Despite his musical success, to many Justin is still best known for his role as Screech in TV's hilarious Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell: The College Years, Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas, Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style and Saved by the Bell: The New Class.
  5. Although known colloquially as Justin Trousersnake over here, he doesn't get called that in his home country of America. That's because over there they call 'trousers' 'pants'!
  6. They still reckon he has a massive penis, though.
  7. Senorita is Spanish for 'Lady'.
  8. Dancing like Justin requires either many years of practice and strenuous exercise or wearing shoes with no grip on a freshly polished, slippery floor.
  9. His shaven head is entirely a fashion choice and is no way related to the curse of male pattern baldness. Definitely.
  10. Justin is very good looking, talented and successful. The bastard.