Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

10 Things We State About... 

We're keeping with the Live Earth theme this week by being green and, umm, recycling some old ideas. Some of you might be off to T in the Park this weekend, a festival that never seems to bother trying too hard with it's line up, assuming, and not entirely unreasonably, that the audience is far more interested in downing vast quantities of lager and chanting the "der-der-der" bit of Chelsea Dagger for the entire two days than actually seeing some bands, but if you do mange to avoid the temptations of overpriced unpleasant lager and actually try and catch some of the acts playing, here are ten who you might well be down the front for:-
  1. The Killers - Despite being the sort of band who you might go and see on a wet Thursday if there's no-one else interesting playing that night, the Killers are headlining on the Saturday night. This might lead you to believe that there's a paucity of talent booked for the event and, given that the Sunday headliners are excitement free yawnsmiths, Snow Patrol you'd be entirely right.
  2. Paolo Nutini - A few months ago Paolo was accused by an angry audience of being drunk on stage and not giving a good performance. Putting aside for the moment the question of "How on earth would you know?!", if we had to go on stage and sing Paolo Nutini songs we'd be getting absolutely hammered before we went on too in a vain attempt to dampen the shame.
  3. Lily Allen - She's going to be appearing on the special Friday night line-up, only available to those who are camping on the site. As if sleeping in a tent and not being able to wash properly wasn't unpleasant enough, they feel the need to make the whole experience even more miserable.
  4. Jamie T - As part of his deal, Jamie will be changing the words of his hit, Sheila to mention the festival's sponsor instead of Stella. He doesn't have a rhyme for Tennants yet, but this handicap has never stopped him in the past.
  5. CSS - Which stands for "Tired of Being Sexy", apparently. We mention this here as we've already used our "Brazil-iant" joke yesterday and we needed something to fill the space. They are ace, though.
  6. Ocean Colour Scene - And James, for that matter. Because apparently T in the Park has fallen through a wormhole and ended up in the mid nineties. Even the Goo Goo Dolls are playing FFS.
  7. Brian Wilson - Any vibrations he picks up will be caused by the pitter-patter-splosh of festival goers vomiting the days alcoholic intake at the side of the stage and so are unlikely to be good in any possible interpretation of the term.
  8. Mika - At the current rate, interest in Mika will vanish roughly halfway through his set, at exactly the point he strikes up his fifth song about how he just wants people to like him. How ironic. No, ironic's not the right word. Excellent, that's it. Excellent.
  9. The Editors - Apparently the most depressing thing they ever saw was smokers outside the hospital. If this really is the case then they either need to get out more and start seeing some genuinely depressing things or start writing happy-go-lucky songs about butterflies and pixies which would clearly be a bit more up their alley.
  10. Avril Lavigne - Have we mentioned recently how much we love Avril? We have? Oh...

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