Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

10 Things We State About... 

James Blunt received a massive 5 Brit nominations yesterday which, despite all the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, means that he must be the hottest thing in pop music right now. To celebrate, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about the whinging warbler:-
  1. Last year James sold 2.37 million copies of his debut album, Back to Bedlam, a figure which, coincidentally enough, is exactly equal to the number of people in this country who suffer from hearing problems.
  2. James doesn't like poor people, and insists on an exclusion zone at all of his gigs and public appearances, for fear he might catch poverty from one of his fans.
  3. As his biography is desperate to inform you, James fought in Iraq for a bit and, while he might be home now, peddling his music, he's still doing his bit for the war effort by allowing his songs to be used to help torture Iraqi prisoners of war.
  4. Goodbye My Lover was written shortly after James played his then girlfriend You're Beautiful for the first time.
  5. He's distantly related to the Queen, which may explain why his music is an outdated, irrelevant, yet seemingly immovable institution, liked only by Daily Mail readers and people with moustaches and pipes. And their husbands.
  6. James is actually Dido with a pair of socks stuffed down her jeans and a slightly more feminine edge to her music.
  7. There are only two experiences in life more painful than listening to a James Blunt album in it's entirety; one of them is being in attendance at a James Blunt gig, the other is actually being James Blunt.
  8. No one else in the UK has the surname Blunt, or at least they won't once the Deed Poll office finishes processing all the applications by those ashamed that people might think they're in some way related to him.
  9. James once heard some music that was exciting and interesting, moving both the heart and the feet with its expertly crafted lyrics and melody. He didn't much care for it.
  10. And he has shit hair.