Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

10 Things We State About... 

Atomic Kitten are back! Yes, they've returned from the dead to release a new single, much like a trio of zombies, only much less attractive. Of course, we say "New single", but it's actually a years old track from their debut album which is being released to aid some sort of charity. Whether you buy it or not is up to you, but bear in mind that any karma boost you get from helping out blind kiddies is likely to be cancelled out by the fact that you've just bought an Atomic Kitten single. Anyway, here's ten entirely true facts about the three feline females.
  1. Liz McLarnon hates cats, and initially only joined the band because she thought she'd get to carry out cruel experiments involving radioactive waste on unsuspecting moggies.
  2. Before joining the band Natasha Hamilton carved out a career as an actress. She's best known for the role of Sarah Connor in the films Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day and Terminator 2 3-D: Battle Across Time.
  3. Original member Kerry Katona left after discovering that Andy McCluskey, the - for want of a better word - brains behind the band, was, in fact, the devil incarnate.
  4. Prior to becoming a member, Jenny Frost used to be a man.
  5. They produced their own range of teenage clothing, which was available exclusively through BHS. For fans who wished to dress like their idols but couldn't afford to buy the official clothing, fashion experts recommended that a similar look could be achieved by wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "Bully me" emblazoned on the front.
  6. Natasha was once chased up a tree by an angry bulldog. She ended up stuck and had to be rescued by fireman, despite attempts to tempt her down with a plate of raw fish.
  7. There are only 10 Atomic Kitten fans in the world. A complex arrangement of mirrors is used during live performances to stop the girls from catching on.
  8. At least 27 fans of Atomic Rooster, a group from the early seventies who had a number 4 hit with Devil's Answer, are known to have bought an Atomic Kitten album by mistake and been disappointed. The number of people who have knowingly bought an Atomic Kitten album and been disappointed is incalculable.
  9. Misery experts reckon that the only thing that has caused more pain and suffering than Atomic Kitten in the last 5 years is the recent tsunami.
  10. I Want Your Love was excellent, mind.