Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Frost Report: Day 2 

Showing the sort of personality, individuality and ability to stand out from the crowd that made Atomic Kitten the band they were, Jenny Frost has continued to spend much of her time in the jungle attempting to blend in with the foliage, even contributing nothing to a conversation that Evil Jimmy Osmond and Antony 'From Blue' Costas had about vocal acrobatics. Though perhaps it's understandable that Jenny felt it wise to avoid contributing to any sort of discussion about singing, having had little experience of that activity.

Despite the crosses which may have blighted her school work during her early years, it was ticks that found our heroine getting most animated today, albeit ticks of the nasty, blood-sucking horribleness kind. It was Jimmy who was first to discover he was affected, though Jenny herself was fine, being entirely bloodless. That didn't stop her getting involved though, as being part of the music industry, she must have had plenty of experience of dealing with that sort of creature, so was quick to put herself on "Tick patrol, big time", and went around checking her fellow campers to make sure they too hadn't been affected. "We're like monkeys!", she declared, excitedly. Nearly Jenny... but despite what you may have been led to believe, a chump isn't actually a kind of monkey.

Girlish excitement also took over when she went to the Bush Telegraph to discover that they'd been gifted with a pair of baby emus to look after. Despite the fact that baby emus are one of earth's more ugly creatures, Jenny cooed over them with delight. "Oh, they're beautiful, gorgeous!", she lied as she looked deep into their cruel, beady eyes, "So cute!". The ease in which she found the animals', ahem, inner beauty was clearly honed from her years of experience in looking at mirrors and seeing her bandmates reflected back at her.

When Carol Thatcher and Jilly Goolden were declared leaders, Jenny - who, we've just realised, looks exactly like a younger version of Jilly - was quick
to volunteer for that night's cooking duties. Once teatime came around, however, she seemed to have no involvement whatsoever, presumably because the others felt that with her water container/toilet confusion of yesterday, letting her anywhere near the food preparation area was not exactly a good idea.

Finally, with Carol clearly being drunk enough to think that trying to persuade Antony, who earlier happily informed us that he considers Bryan Adams to be a genius, to sing a song was a good idea, Jenny did not do what any sane person would do and either tell her what a bad idea that was or get hold of some industrial strength earplugs, but instead began a chant of "Tony, Tony, Tony", in what we can only assume was intended as a gesture of encouragement, rather than the harpy's screech it became. Antony, unfortunately did sing. Jenny, fortunately, did not.

If you want to subject Jenny to an experience as painful as that of listening to her records, then you can vote by dialing 09011 32 32 04 or by texting FROST to 63334. Thanks.