Monday, May 01, 2006
It's Monday! And, like P!nk, we're not actually dead, though unlike Pink we're not a bit of a mardy cow who manages to come up with just enough occasional moments of pop genius to allow her to be forgiven for all the dross she's released; we never come up with any moments of genius. We've just been a bit busy with real world stuff - yes, believe it or not, we do have something approaching a life - so haven't had the time to concentrate on the site properly, but things should be back to what counts for normal around these parts. We've also realised we've somewhat neglected our 100 Actual Worst Records... Ever feature, so we'll be doing our best to get on track again with that this week, but before all that, let's see what we learnt from this week's Top of the Pops:-
- Chicane ft Tom Jones are Stoned in Love. And if the pair of them ever turn up at a nightclub in our general vicinity they'll be stoned there as well. With stones.
- The secondary drummer bloke - well, he had a pair of tom-toms in front of him - was so bored with the whole affair that he spent half the song juggling.
- Like his former band mate, Carl Barat from Dirty Pretty Things has also failed to realise that The Libertines talent well dried up shortly after Time For Heroes and it's been a long, pointless, downward spiral of rubbishness since then.
- At least Pete Doherty has the excuse that he's so drug addled that he barely knows what day his next court appearance is on, let alone whether the music he's releasing is any cop or not.
- Mind you, Carl reckons that employing someone from The Cooper Temple Clause is a good idea, so his judgment can't be all that hot either.
- Graham Coxon is releasing You & I. What he gains in grammatical correctness he loses in actual tunefulness. Swings and roundabouts, really.
- And is red converses with slightly too short trousers really a good look?
- As a band Snow Patrol thrill about as much as the teacups ride at Alton Towers. Or a nice cup of Horlicks.
- Jamie Cullum is still a cunt. Even while his performance is being forwarded as fast as our video recorder will let us.
- Despite exhorting us to Skip to the End, we'd rather skip back to The Futureheads' beginnings as, much as we love them - and we do - they've never really topped Carnival Kids, have they?
- Gnarls Barkley are still number one. It's like we've never been away.