It's Monday! And, in a desperate bid to get people interested in the festival of dullness which is the Winter Olympics, this week's
Top of the Pops was a special edition celebrating the event. What this essentially amounted to was everyone involved getting a nice trip to Italy at the license payer's expense and some snow on the title sequence and captions. Oh, and Fearne wore a nice hat. Here's what else we learnt from this week's show:-
- Fearne's scary uncle and aunt this week were Sue Barker and Colin Jackson, with Sue in particular doing an excellent job of being one of the most annoying people we've ever had the misfortune of seeing on television. And we've seen Lowri Turner.
- The first outing for Amelle Berrabah and the new look Sugababes - for which read 'slightly different' - was performing Red Dress against the backdrop of the Alps which, let's face it, isn't a bad way to make an entrance.
- Amelle looks entirely different - and better - from the original publicity shot which was released when she joined the band, but has yet to master the sulky, "I don't really want to be here" look which characterises the band.
- Heidi, it goes without saying, had lovely hair.
- The Automatic, performing Raoul, lived up to their name by performing on it.
- RETRO:Ringo Starr doing It Don't Come Easy. For no better reason than the fact that the video features him playing piano in the snow and not being very good at skiing.
- Westlife doing Amazing. It isn't. It really, really isn't.
- Craig David doing Unbelievable. It isn't. It really, really isn't.
- Nizlopi doing The JCB Song. It isn't. It really, really... Hang on! That doesn't work.
- We didn't think it was possible, but the new Nizlopi single, Girls, somehow manages to be even worse that The JCB Song. Scientists have been informed.
- RETRO: U2 doing New Year's Day. Bono in the days before he thought he was God, but was still a prick.
- Kubb still reckon they should be allowed to Grow. We reckon they should be treated more like weeds and, before they can strangle the lifeblood out of the proper flowers, be plucked out of the soil.
- Or burnt.
- Madonna's Sorry almost sounds like it's sampling Jackson 5's Can You Feel It?, which means it's almost a very good song indeed, but Madonna, would you please put some trousers on! No matter how soft focus the shots, it's not a good look.
- Mattafix's Big City Life is quite good, isn't it?
- RETRO: ABBA doing Knowing Me, Knowing You. A record forever ruined by it's association with Alan Partridge. Shame.
- The Sugababes are back, doing Push The Button. We really liked Heidi's dress as well. Amelle should take tips.
- The Darkness gave us Is It Just Me?, a question to be answered in the affirmative if asked by anyone who's just declared their love for the band's 'talent'.
- Towards the end of their performance, Justin asked the crowd "Isn't this great?". It isn't. It really, really isn't.
- Meck are at number one with Thunder in My Heart Again. Who'd have thought that a record featuring Leo Sayer would sound so dated? Oh...
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