Monday, September 05, 2005
It's Monday! And what an exciting week in pop this is shaping up to be. Not only is the Mercury Music Prize victor announced tomorrow night, but slightly more importantly and interestingly, the winner of the Popjustice Music Prize is also being unveiled. Unfortunately the release schedule has failed to keep up with this flurry of activity, with absolutely no new releases of any note whatsoever, aside from the not too shabby at all Goldie Lookin' Chain single. Oh well, never mind. Let's see what we learnt from this week's Top of the Pops:-
- Fearne Cotton is once again joined by Phill Jupitus, a pairing which puts us in mind of a slightly odd uncle who shows slightly too much interest in the ins and outs of his young niece's life.
- Call My Name, the new single by Charlotte Church, may not be as good as Crazy Chick but it does allow Chaz to demonstrate her ability to look rather foxy in a basque, so it's all good.
- Jamie Cullum, and we really cannot say this often enough, is a cunt.
- RETRO: To celebrate John Peel's birthday, we were once again shown the clip of him pretending to play the mandolin alongside Rod Stewart on a performance of Maggie May. We don't feel that Peel's memory should be sullied by reminding people that as well as all the good stuff he liked, he was also a fan of Rod's.
- The Ordinary Boys' new single, Life Will Be the Death of Me, sounds like a cross between The Clash and Madness. Like mixing petrol and naked flames, this is a bad idea, and doesn't even have the potential excitement of an explosion to make it worthwhile.
- Jessica Simpson's boots are made for walking. Her ass wiggling waitressing style, however, is not made for a long term career and will likely result in soup spillage.
- Hayseed Dixie still aren't funny.
- McFly are number one in the album charts. Come on, people! Their continuing success is why half the ugly numpties on X Factor reckon they're in with a shot at fame.
- Jacques Your Body, a song which is now at least a million years old, takes Les Rhythmes Digitales to the number nine spot, thanks mainly to it's appearance in what is undoubtedly this year's most annoying advert, aside from any that claim that not feeding your kid cornflakes in the morning will lead to them a life of long-term unemployment and afternoons spent in betting shops.
- RETRO: The Specials doing A Message to you Rudy. We prefer Terry Hall's Ultra Modern Nursery Rhymes to be honest.
- The Pussycat Dolls are the musical equivalent of opening up a big exciting, glittery, tinsel wrapped parcel at Christmas time, only to discover that it contains nothing more than the socks of disappointment. Or in this case, the scratchy nylon underwear from an Ann Summer's bargain bin.
- At number one we find DARE performed by Gorillaz featuring Shaun Ryder, a collaboration which makes perfect sense given that Shaun spends most of his days convinced he's collaborating with cartoon characters.