It's Friday! And our litany of weekly misfortune continued on Wednesday when a cash machine decided that rather than giving out all the money we asked it to, it was going to keep a tenner for itself. Having learnt that banks are bastards, we decided to add to our knowledge by watching this week's
Top of the Pops. Here's what we learnt:-
- Uniting Nations are still selling copies of Out of Touch, presumably to people who live up to the title of the song and have only just heard the track. The live vocals were a little bit off, presumably because the singer blokey was distracted by the fact that he had half a dozen girls flashing their knickers at him.
- Duran Duran are back! Again! And this time Alzheimers seems to have set in as they're asking "What happens tomorrow?". We reckon it's either pension day or bingo night.
- We treated, once again, to Jennifer Lopez's performance of Get Right from a couple of weeks ago. The saxophone part of this song is possibly the only noise in the world that makes the Crazy Frog sound bearable. Towards the end of the set the crowd began chanting, entirely spontaneously of course, "Go J Lo! Go J Lo!". We were thinking something very similar ourselves.
- Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem have released a duet, presumably under the mistaken belief that anyone gives a shit about either of them. They both are also labouring under the fallacy that looking at each other, smiling and occasionally leaning the mic stand into the other counts as sexual chemistry.
- Gwen Stefani is releasing the Fiddler on the Roof referencing Rich Girl as her next single, which clearly makes her Topol the Pops. Arf!
- Pharell and Snoop are making the most of their time in the UK by popping into the TotP studios to do Lets Get Blown. There was more sexual chemistry between the two of them than there was between Brian and Delta.
- Mario is about to release Let Me Love You. It's a laid back R&B track and is a remarkable change of style since his last release, back in 1992, where he teamed up with the Ambassadors of Funk to release Supermarioland.
- Martika is at number one! But unfortunately she's got some bloke talking all over the verses to her seminal 1989 hit, Toy Soldiers which spoils the moment slightly. Still, it's nice to see her using her fame and status to help a struggling artist achieve success.
