Sunday, November 28, 2004
Go-Etta
And so Kate - who this week wore a cyan dress which looked much like that an older woman would wear, albeit with a much lower neckline than we'd like to see an elderly lady wear - was right when she said that it was going to be "all change" this week, if by "all change" she meant "reaching a new level of pointlessness", that is. The only useful change is that the judges no longer have to choose between the bottom two acts, it's simply left up to the public vote which is as it should have been in the first place. The acts now get to sing two songs in the main show giving them two chances to try and shine or, in the case of Steve, be an utter non-event and, for those who miss the first show, they all get a chance to sing one of their songs again during the results show, meaning that there's absolutely no point in watching the main programme. It smacked very much of them suddenly realising, five minutes before the show started, that without the "sing-off" between the bottom two acts, they had nothing else to fill the 45 minutes of airtime with and had to think of something quickly. Aren't television producers marvelous?
Last night Tabby should have easily been out on his ear. Not because he was the worst - although he was - but because he decided to perform Extreme's More Than Words, one of the most godawful examples of rock balladry ever, although Ozzy and Kelly's whine through Changes comes close. For this he had an acoustic guitar which he seemed to be randomly strumming throughout the song with no relation to the actual tune, but as Tabby is so rock and so for real we're sure he wouldn't be miming. Ahem. He also did Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer and was as desperately bad as you'd expect.
Alas, though, the voting public didn't see it our way, but they did show some sense as they gave Rowetta the boot, having finally tired of her bellowy singing and her "Ey! I'm a bit mad and northern, me, but I've got no control of my emotions" personality. This week she did her usual vaguely tuneful shouting through River Deep Mountain High, but did manage to show a bit of restraint during her version of When You Tell me That You Love Me, imbuing it with a delicateness of touch which reminded you why she was in the contest in the first place. Still, we're not exactly sad to see her go.
As for the other acts, Jonathon from G4 was apparently struggling with a strained vocal chord, although it wasn't noticeable in the performance. While some acts on the show have made noticeable attempts to try and cash in on certain sectors of the public - going for the gay vote, the housewife vote, the teeny vote, etc - G4 took the brave step of trying to cash in on the hitherto untapped Scouse voting market, doing a version of You'll Never Walk Alone as their first song. For their second they did Queen's Somebody to Love which was absolutely fantastic and reminded us why we loved them so much when we first saw their audition.
Steve once again showed us that his sights are very much set on the lucrative mid-priced CD's for the middle aged housewife market, failing to arouse any sort of emotion, positive or negative, whatsoever during his renditions of If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time and I Get The Sweetest Feeling. Judging by his facial expression during the latter, he was having some problems hearing the backing track, either that or he genuinely was caught in the headlights of a car speeding towards him.
It's the Semi-Final next week and then, on the 11th December, the excitement of the final. Can you wait? We know we can't, mainly because we're looking forward to not feeling obliged to watch it every week.
