Sunday, October 10, 2004
The X Anger
We were never convinced by the idea of Sharon Osbourne as an X-Factor judge. While she's undoubtedly a woman of certain talents - mainly involving exploiting her husband for her own personal gain - she never struck us as someone that understood or, indeed, cared for pop. If she had done, we might well have been spared the atrocity of Kelly Osbourne's 'music' 'career' as, as a good mother, she would surely have had a word with her daughter telling her not to be so bloody stupid and, should she have persisted in trying to get near a recording studio, would have sent her straight to her room and grounded her for the rest of her life. Clearly someone at ITV, however, felt she would be perfect for the show, so we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Not that there was a lot else we could do. We don't exactly hold a great deal of sway at the commercial network so they would give much credence to a phone call from us telling them that they'd got it all wrong. At least, not after the time we told them that they should buy up the concept of Survivor as it was bound to be a big hit.
And so we watched. We watched as Sharon proved herself to be a bit of a fool, but with her heart in the right place, as she bemoaned the failure of Louis and Simon to put through people that she thought were lovely but they, quite rightly, felt were untalented morons who should be treated with the contempt they deserved, no matter how much they wanted to be famous. We watched as she poured a glass of water over Simon in an entirely unplanned and naturalistic stunt which in no way screamed out "pre-planned" at the top of it's voice. We watched as she put on that really annoying simpering smile when some old woman sang badly. All these things we watched, and we forgave, but last night we watched and we lost what little respect we may have had for her, all thanks to the Beatles incident.
At the top of the show, Sharon told whoever was interviewing her that she wasn't looking for the same sort of stuff that fills the charts which, to a certain extent is fair enough, though you could probably argue that the top 40 these days is more varied and interesting than it's ever been. So what way, then, did she come up with to try and find the most exciting new sound imaginable? The sort of sound that radio has been crying out for and would make musicians would fall to their knees and declare the wife of Ozzy to be some sort of goddess? She got them to sing a Beatles song. This would be bad enough in itself, but she then compounded her stupidity by getting all the contestants on stage and giving them all a telling off because some of them weren't totally familiar with the song they were asked to perform. Not having an indepth knowledge of The Beatles back catalogue is not a bad thing. This idea that everyone working in music should be familiar with The Beatles is one of the biggest millstones around the neck of the industry and we can't understand why, in an artistic sphere that should be constantly looking towards the future, they always seem be stuck in the past.
We're not saying The Beatles are irrelevant to modern music. Of course they're not, they're a very influential band and helped shape the world of music as we know it today, but so what? So did Duran Duran and you're unlikely to hear anyone being considered unable to function in the pop world of today if they didn't know all the words to The Reflex. It's not like the four Liverpudlians came up the idea of pop music all by themselves, for all the influence they've passed on to the world of pop, they too were heavily influenced by various people and scenes. Initially it was the skiffle movement which they gave a heavy nod to, but we somehow doubt that Sharon's knowledge of the life, times and music of Lonnie Donnegan is up to par.
Face it. These days the Beatles are as relevant to the kids as Henry VII's hit, Greensleeves. Perhaps less so, as at least kids can associate Greensleeves with an ice cream van. They came up with a few decent tunes, a lot of rubbish which people are always keen to forget, and summed up a decade which ended 35 years ago. The last thing we need is more Beatle-wannabes clogging up the charts with an inability to realise that the world has moved on and that aping the band has already reached it's peak with Candyflip's cover of Strawberry Fields.
And, as if all that wasn't enough, she didn't let our favourite, Jax, past the first round. Cow.
And so we watched. We watched as Sharon proved herself to be a bit of a fool, but with her heart in the right place, as she bemoaned the failure of Louis and Simon to put through people that she thought were lovely but they, quite rightly, felt were untalented morons who should be treated with the contempt they deserved, no matter how much they wanted to be famous. We watched as she poured a glass of water over Simon in an entirely unplanned and naturalistic stunt which in no way screamed out "pre-planned" at the top of it's voice. We watched as she put on that really annoying simpering smile when some old woman sang badly. All these things we watched, and we forgave, but last night we watched and we lost what little respect we may have had for her, all thanks to the Beatles incident.
At the top of the show, Sharon told whoever was interviewing her that she wasn't looking for the same sort of stuff that fills the charts which, to a certain extent is fair enough, though you could probably argue that the top 40 these days is more varied and interesting than it's ever been. So what way, then, did she come up with to try and find the most exciting new sound imaginable? The sort of sound that radio has been crying out for and would make musicians would fall to their knees and declare the wife of Ozzy to be some sort of goddess? She got them to sing a Beatles song. This would be bad enough in itself, but she then compounded her stupidity by getting all the contestants on stage and giving them all a telling off because some of them weren't totally familiar with the song they were asked to perform. Not having an indepth knowledge of The Beatles back catalogue is not a bad thing. This idea that everyone working in music should be familiar with The Beatles is one of the biggest millstones around the neck of the industry and we can't understand why, in an artistic sphere that should be constantly looking towards the future, they always seem be stuck in the past.
We're not saying The Beatles are irrelevant to modern music. Of course they're not, they're a very influential band and helped shape the world of music as we know it today, but so what? So did Duran Duran and you're unlikely to hear anyone being considered unable to function in the pop world of today if they didn't know all the words to The Reflex. It's not like the four Liverpudlians came up the idea of pop music all by themselves, for all the influence they've passed on to the world of pop, they too were heavily influenced by various people and scenes. Initially it was the skiffle movement which they gave a heavy nod to, but we somehow doubt that Sharon's knowledge of the life, times and music of Lonnie Donnegan is up to par.
Face it. These days the Beatles are as relevant to the kids as Henry VII's hit, Greensleeves. Perhaps less so, as at least kids can associate Greensleeves with an ice cream van. They came up with a few decent tunes, a lot of rubbish which people are always keen to forget, and summed up a decade which ended 35 years ago. The last thing we need is more Beatle-wannabes clogging up the charts with an inability to realise that the world has moved on and that aping the band has already reached it's peak with Candyflip's cover of Strawberry Fields.
And, as if all that wasn't enough, she didn't let our favourite, Jax, past the first round. Cow.
