Wednesday, December 24, 2003
So. Here it is.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through TiaPL
Not a creature was stirring - save a worm in an apple
The stockings were hung by the bedspread with care
In the hope that Saint Nicola was on her way there
Flum was all nestled snug in his bed
While visions of silver shoes danced in his head
And Liberty Jess wearing bronzer, and Will in his cap
Had just settled down for a long winters nap
When out on the lawn Flum heard such a clatter
He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window he flew like a flash
Scared that the commotion was caused by rock's Slash
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below
The vision was not that of G'n'R rockers
But a minature sleigh and seven tiny popstars
With a lithe, lovely driver, her hair red and thick
He knew in an instant it must be St Nic
More rapid than eagles her coursers they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, CHERYL! now, KIMMY! now, NADINE and SARAH!
On, BRITNEY! on KYLIE! on, CHRISTINA AGUILERA!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
All singing in harmony, a dance routine too.
And then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As he drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicola came with a bound.
She was dressed all in silver, from her dress to her shoes,
Her make up was perfect, to give her her dues ;
On her head was a tiara, hand made in Devon,
She looked like an angel who was sent down from heaven.
Her eyes -- how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her cute little mouth was frowning, just so,
And the tone of her skin was as white as the snow;
The stick of a lolly she held tight in her teeth,
She'd clearly have shone at the MTV awards in Leith;
She had a cute little face and a perfect flat belly,
She was exactly as perfect as she looked on the telly.
She was slimline and pale, a moody young elf,
He laughed when he saw her, in spite of himself;
A wink of her eye and a beautiful smile,
Soon gave him to know life would be good for a while;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
She tried on the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Not that sort of jerk, your mind is quite dirty,
As Nicola left, without getting flirty;
She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, as she drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
Not a creature was stirring - save a worm in an apple
The stockings were hung by the bedspread with care
In the hope that Saint Nicola was on her way there
Flum was all nestled snug in his bed
While visions of silver shoes danced in his head
And Liberty Jess wearing bronzer, and Will in his cap
Had just settled down for a long winters nap
When out on the lawn Flum heard such a clatter
He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window he flew like a flash
Scared that the commotion was caused by rock's Slash
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below
The vision was not that of G'n'R rockers
But a minature sleigh and seven tiny popstars
With a lithe, lovely driver, her hair red and thick
He knew in an instant it must be St Nic
More rapid than eagles her coursers they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, CHERYL! now, KIMMY! now, NADINE and SARAH!
On, BRITNEY! on KYLIE! on, CHRISTINA AGUILERA!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
All singing in harmony, a dance routine too.
And then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As he drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicola came with a bound.
She was dressed all in silver, from her dress to her shoes,
Her make up was perfect, to give her her dues ;
On her head was a tiara, hand made in Devon,
She looked like an angel who was sent down from heaven.
Her eyes -- how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her cute little mouth was frowning, just so,
And the tone of her skin was as white as the snow;
The stick of a lolly she held tight in her teeth,
She'd clearly have shone at the MTV awards in Leith;
She had a cute little face and a perfect flat belly,
She was exactly as perfect as she looked on the telly.
She was slimline and pale, a moody young elf,
He laughed when he saw her, in spite of himself;
A wink of her eye and a beautiful smile,
Soon gave him to know life would be good for a while;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
She tried on the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Not that sort of jerk, your mind is quite dirty,
As Nicola left, without getting flirty;
She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, as she drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
