Saturday, December 20, 2003
Lord of the Whinge.
The new Lord of the Rings movie is out today. We're not going to see it, mainly because we're not 12, but if any of the following things happen then we're likely to make it down to the cinema faster than it takes Michelle Pop Idol to taste the bitter flavour of pop failure.
- Film gets renamed Dude, Where's my Ring?
- Finale is an all singing, all-dancing Busby Berkley-esque spectacular.
- Putting on the Ring turns the wearer into a badger.
- More of an NYPD Blue influence evident in the direction.
- At least one car chase.
- So called One Ring To Rule Them All turns out to be part of Argos' Elizabeth Duke collection.
- A torture scene involving Frodo. He doesn't give up the ring though. After all, much like smoking, he's a hard hobbit to break.
- Final battle for the Ring takes the form of a one-on-one basketball game.
- George Foreman has a guest appearence, which he uses to subtly plug his Lean, Mean Grilling Machine
