Tuesday, December 16, 2003
In this country we get all excited by the prospect of what might be the Christmas Number One. This is presumably down to some insatiable desire to populate our CD collections with crap. As a result of this, we've decided to do a round up of some of the singles that are hoping to cash in on people. We don't normally do this sort of thing, mainly because Popjustice.com does it so much better than us (but then, they do most things better than us though we're pretty sure we make better mashed potato), but seeing as it's Christmas and we've got nothing better to write about we thought we'd give it a shot.
- The Idols - Happy Xmas (War is Over) // A rubbish cover of a rubbish song, the only real point of interest is watching the video and seeing if you can actually remember the names of the final twelve. Can you beat our high score of 7?
- The Darkness - Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End) // We've already told you this is rubbish. Please believe us this time.
- Atomic Kitten featuring Kool & The Gang - Ladies' Night // In which the serial song ruiners manage to make a bad song even worse. This impresses us.
- Blue featuring Stevie Wonder & Angie Stone - Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours // In which Blue follow the Kittens talent for ruining perfectly good songs by turning them into pale shadows of the original. There is apparantly no truth in the rumour that [b]Lee[/b] asked Stevie if he ever thought he'd see the day when he'd be working with Blue.
- Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World // We really like this, but we're a bit annoyed it's been released as we're big old indie snobs and liked having it as a little secret gem that only those of us who had seen the film would know about. Still, we can only hope that covering 80's songs in that style becomes a trend and we get a similar version of Duran Duran's Rio.
- Travis - The Beautiful Occupation // In which the pointless Scots who, much like Val Doonican, like to rock us, but gently, release a song saying that war is a bit of a bad thing 9 months after such a statement might have actually meant something. Admittedly it would hardly have meant much back then as pretty much everyone is aware that war isn't the nicest thing in the world and the Iraqi invasion wasn't necesarily the best idea the US has ever had, but while it wouldn't have rocked the boat, it might at least have given it a slight wobble.
- Fast Food Rockers - I Love Christmas // Oh for fuck's sake.
