Saturday, October 18, 2003
Sheesh is the Word
At TiaPL, we live the sort of life that mere mortals can only dream of. Well, we do if mere mortals have really rubbish dreams about pretty ordinary, but slightly music-obsessed lives. It as a result of this that we found ourselves sitting in tonight watching Greasemania on ITV1, a tribute to a film who's underlying message is, lest we forget, that it's better to become a slut and get your man, than stay who you are and don't, which is a clearly a great message to be passed on to teenage girls all over the world. And we mean proper teenagers, not teenagers of the 'actually in their twenties' kind that John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John were. Nowadays anyone in their twenties pretending to be a teenager is likely to find themselves on the paedophiles register quicker than you can say "But officer, conducting choir practice in the nude makes for better acoustics". Anyway, watching this was not a wise choice as it's an hour of our lives we're not going to get back again in a hurry.
This is not to say that there were no highlights. We were amused by the title sequence which clearly had some inspiration from Jordan as Gareth Gates's billing appeared under a sign declaring that he was "Coming Soon". Girls Aloud also appeared and looked fabulous, and, even more excitingly, they also let Nicola sing a whole verse. The downside of this is that Nicola has now used up her singing quota for the year and will quickly be returned to her twilight world of backing vocals and being out of focus at the back. We also have to admit, and saying this pains us in a similar way to cutting our arms with a sharpened pepperami, that the Cheeky Girls came out of it surprisingly well. Not well in a 'Hmm, I must rush out and buy their album' kinda way, but in a 'Well the show was crap, but at least they looked like they were enjoying themselves and the song suited the Cheeky style' way.
Right, now the lowlights:-
And the biggest lowlight of all is that we now have a burning desire to buy Grease on DVD so that we can hear all the songs done properly, which is exactly the point of this whole sorry exercise. Curse you marketing men and your evil plots!
Still, we can only hope that Rocky Horror-Mania is currently in the pipeline, Busted already appear to be putting themselves in the frame to perform Sweet Transvestite, so there's hope, though they'll probably have to fight Pete Burns for the privilege.
This is not to say that there were no highlights. We were amused by the title sequence which clearly had some inspiration from Jordan as Gareth Gates's billing appeared under a sign declaring that he was "Coming Soon". Girls Aloud also appeared and looked fabulous, and, even more excitingly, they also let Nicola sing a whole verse. The downside of this is that Nicola has now used up her singing quota for the year and will quickly be returned to her twilight world of backing vocals and being out of focus at the back. We also have to admit, and saying this pains us in a similar way to cutting our arms with a sharpened pepperami, that the Cheeky Girls came out of it surprisingly well. Not well in a 'Hmm, I must rush out and buy their album' kinda way, but in a 'Well the show was crap, but at least they looked like they were enjoying themselves and the song suited the Cheeky style' way.
Right, now the lowlights:-
- Amanda Holden // No-one else in the entire world has embarrassed themselves quite as much on television as you did with your 'hosting' of this show tonight, except possibly your cuckolded husband Les Dennis, when he went slightly mad during his time on Celebrity Big Brother. And to be quite honest, the only reason we're bringing that up as a comparison is that we really like using the word 'cuckolded'.
- Westlife // They do an upbeat number with a well known dance routine, and do they do anything other than sit on a piss-poor prop car? Do they buggery.
- Tony Hadley // We liked Tony Hadley when he was in Spandau Ballet. He's not in Spandau Ballet anymore. We don't care about him now.
- Gareth Gates // Who essentially performed the same dance routine he did for Sunshine, but just moved his lips to different words.
- Robbie Williams Flatmate and Some Girl From Coronation Street // Oh, for fucks sake.
And the biggest lowlight of all is that we now have a burning desire to buy Grease on DVD so that we can hear all the songs done properly, which is exactly the point of this whole sorry exercise. Curse you marketing men and your evil plots!
Still, we can only hope that Rocky Horror-Mania is currently in the pipeline, Busted already appear to be putting themselves in the frame to perform Sweet Transvestite, so there's hope, though they'll probably have to fight Pete Burns for the privilege.
