Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Sunday, October 26, 2003

...But Where's the Video For Bump in the Night? 

Channel 4's countdown of the 100 Scariest Moments Ever concludes tonight, and seeing as here at TiaPL we're never ones to let a bandwagon go by without jumping on and holding tight for dear life, we've decided to present to you our list of The 7 Scariest Things of All Time... Ever. This list has been thoroughly researched, checked, double checked and tested on volunteers to make sure that it is truly full of frightening things, and definitely isn't the first 7 things that come into our head as we sit here typing this.

So, with no further ado, prepare to be truly horrified at the nightmarish things that we present to you...
  1. Herbie Goes Bananas
  2. Pink (The pop star, not the colour)
  3. Silly Putty
  4. The Pop Career of David Sneddon
  5. The possibility of cats and dolphins cross-breeding
  6. Blue (Not the pop band, the colour)
  7. The thought that true love doesn't actually exisit outside of the world of movies and music, and that, at best, we're all destined to die cold and alone, while at worst, we'll spend our last miserable years of existence with someone who we no longer have any feelings for, with whom we've had every conversation we're ever going to want to have, who's face is so familiar that even when we close our eyes, we can still see their features, features which have formed themselves into a cruel mockery of the youthful beauty that was once there, oh so many years ago. The only thing left to look forward to will be for death to finally arrive and let the agony of life come to an end so that we can break out of the ennui that we find ourselves forced to endure day after day after sodding day.

Well! The thought of all of those things has certianly put a chill down our spines. Brr!