The Sugababes have just scored their second number one with About You Now, surprisingly beating off Shayne Ward to claim the top spot, the surprise being that few people either knew or, indeed, cared that Shayne actually had a new single out.

We weren’t sure about their new track the first time we heard it, but its turned out to be one hell of a grower and, after repeated listens, we know how we feel about it now. Arf. It’s a catchy slice of harmonious pop, which is quite ironic given that harmony is generally the last thing that springs to mind when you think of the ‘Babes, second only to “Hit with the ugly stick” in its lack of relevance to their day to day existence.

In other music news Radiohead have announced that anyone who wants to buy their latest album - In Rainbows, a collection of unique interpretations of the songs of Rod, Jane and Freddy, available on the 10th Oct - will get to choose how much they want to pay for it, although it’s not yet been made clear whether you decide on its value before or after you actually listen to the thing. It’ll be interesting if this sort of pricing scheme - although can a lack of one really be called a scheme? - takes off, even if a lot of bands might suddenly find themselves bankrupt as many people start to cash in on the “I would only listen to X if you actually paid me to” policy. Gym Class Heroes, we’re looking at you here.

Also finding out how much people are willing to pay for their product, albeit via the medium of eBay and ticket touts, rather than the slightly more honest method which Radiohead are employing are the Spice Girls whose London gig sold out in just 38 seconds, and might have done so even quicker had they actually bothered e-mailing everyone that registered, like us, for example, whose inbox contains no news of how to apply for tickets, just news of roughly two billions pounds worth of prizes that we’ve won in lotteries we haven’t even entered and a surprising number of people who seem to believe that we’re in need of both penis and breast enlargement. Not that we really wanted to go to the gig anyway, as we’ve already said we think it’ll just be a bit of an embarrassment, dripping with irony and “Gosh, what were we like!” style japery, but it would have nice to have been able to confirm this first hand, rather than having to waiting for Victoria Newton to do so.

Labels: News, Radiohead, Spice Girls, Sugababes

So! Hands up who would ever have expected that one of the Sugababes would be arrested on suspicion of assault?

Oh. Quite a few of you, then.

Of course, what's most surprising about Amelle Berrabah spending a night in the cells following, to quote the police's own rather coy description of the events, "An incident in a bar", is the fact that the incident didn't involve another Sugababe. The girls - other than happy, smiley, oblivious to all the bitching and back-biting, Heidi, of course - aren't exactly famed for their friendly, welcoming stance and aren't exactly the best at keeping their, ahem, disagreements under wraps, but it remains to be seen exactly what the details are regarding this particular event. We do, however, feel that Amelle should perhaps have listened to the lyrics of Ugly a little bit more closely as the message has possibly passed her by.

In other Girl Band/Emergency Service news, Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding spent some time in hospital yesterday, complaining of stomach pains and has been warned to cut down on her partying. Which is a polite medical way of saying "You've just got a touch of wind, stop bothering us and, geez, have a mint, your breath stinks of booze". We're not being entirely dismissive of her claims, however, as we recently rewatched Alien and it's had a profound effect on us.

In a bid to complete the set we're hoping to bring you a story later this week about Natasha Bedingfield and a fireman. Failing that we've definitely got a tale about All Saints making nuisance calls to the lifeboat association. It's just a boaty call, apparently.

Labels: Amelle Berrabah, Girls Aloud, Sarah Harding, Sugababes

Former Sugababe, current ginger and generally ace person, Siobhan Donaghy is back! And new single Don't Give it Up, from the forthcoming album Ghosts, is really rather brilliant, not that you'd know though, given the reluctance of radio to play it or, indeed, people to actually go out and buy it. This is a shame, and it's hardly Siobhan's fault as not only has she released said amazing tune, but she's also been turning up pretty much everywhere doing interviews which largely seem to revolve around her being forced to point out how unbothered she is by the Sugababes's success and how glad she is to be out of it. To celebrate, here are ten entirely true and in no way made up examples of the sort of things she definitely doesn't do because her former bandmates' gold disc based lifestyle in no way bothers her:-

1. Goes into record shops and moves all the Sugababe CDs bar One Touch to the back of the racks.
   
2. Regularly posts on Sugababes messageboards under the username SugaBitchesSuck
   
3. Defaces posters of the band around London town, with particular attention being paid to Heidi's image.
   
4. Hangs around outside trendy London bars, loudly dissing the girls whenever someone who looks vaguely influential walks past.
   
5. Switches the radio off whenever Red Dress comes on.
   
6. Refuses MySpace Friend Requests from anyone who has the Sugababes in their Top 8.
   
7. Sworn never again to eat anything containing either sugar or babies.
   
8. Laughed for a solid hour when she heard the news that Mutya had been pushed out of the band as well.
   
9. Books up the entire front row of Sugababe gigs so that she and her friends can sit there and boo solidly for the entire ninety minutes.
   
10. Phones Keisha on a daily basis laughing and saying "You'll be next... you'll be next!".

Labels: 10 Things, Siobhan Donaghy, Sugababes

YouTube is great. Not only does it provide an outlet for Star Wars geeks to unleash yet another unfunny parody of the films on to an audience of similarly geekish types who seem to have an insatiable appetite for such things, it also, thanks to it's reluctance to accept the concept of copyright law, allows you to watch all the crap TV programmes you may have missed due schedule clashes, a poor quality TV guide or the slightly more likely 'having better things to do'.

We often have better things to do, so you can imagine our annoyance when we discovered that we'd missed one of the most momentous TV events of the decade: Nicola Roberts' debut solo appearance. Admittedly while Cheryl got to appear on the prime time slot that was Comic Relief does The Apprentice, Nicola only got to do Ready Steady Cook, but it's a start. Clearly this marks the beginning of her inevitable strides towards world domination and, thanks to the wonders of YouTube (Click here), not only have we been able to enjoy this wondrous event not from the comfort of our sofa but from our uncomfortable chair in front of the computer, but you too can enjoy the tense battle as the Nicola takes on the Sugababes' Heidi Range in the cookery based battle which serves mainly to let the unemployed and housebound know that it's nearly time for tea.

It was something of a surprise to see Nic appear on such a show, as previous to this she hadn't exactly demonstrated much of a love for the culinary art. Indeed, given the answers she's given to food related questions in the past, we wouldn't have been entirely surprised if, on emptying her bag, the contents had consisted of two packs of Super Noodles, a bag of chips and a microwavable toastie. Fortunately for her, however, the producers took her bag she'd provided herself off of her and, because it was Comic Relief, provided her with one containing only red items of food; red potatoes, red steak, red cabbage, red Leicester cheese, etc, etc. You get the somewhat laboured idea. Not that the chef, who went by the name of 'Gino', apparently, cared: "I'm more excited about Nicola than the bag. I don't really care about the bag right now". Tsk, imagine perving so blatantly over a popstar in a public forum. How pathetic. The host, irritant and general annoyance Ainsley Harriot, took advantage of the moment to ask Nicola about her attitude towards food: "I like normal English food", insisted Nic, like a good steak dinner, for example. "As long as it's well done, I can't be doing with that bloody meat", she swore.

"How much was your bag?", asked Ainsley. "£7.53", answered Nicola. "Under budget", she added proudly, and seemed very put out when Ainsley pointed out that, as they were only allowed £7.50 to spend she was actually threepence over the limit. We hope that the Girls Aloud management don't take advantage of Nicola's blind spot with figures. That, of course, is assuming that they do actually pay her. We could quite easily believe that they pay her in Smarties.

After a chat with Heidi, Gino began to describe what he planned on doing with the ingredients provided by Nic. "That sounds lovely", she said, the expression on her face indicating otherwise". But despite her day job suggesting otherwise, Nicola wasn't there to just stand around looking pretty in the background, she was there to work and, after Gino helped her tie her apron, taking advantage of the opportunity to molest her, Nic was soon put to work with the highly important task of quartering the potatoes and grating the cheese. She was probably just happy to be involved for a change, although the concept of cooking and, indeed, work, seemed to take her aback. "Do you want all of the cheese?", she asked innocently. "All of it", confirmed the chef. "All of it!?", was her shocked response, delivered with about as much incredulity as would normally be given to news of a Jade Goody comeback.

These weren't the only tasks that Nicola was entrusted with, though. Oh, no! Giving her the sort of responsibility and respect that she's used to getting in the studio, Nic also got to separate the egg yolks, a task she took to with her usual sunny disposition and happy-go-lucky attitude: "It's awful! I feel like I'm on the jungle programme", by which we assume she means I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here and not the Christopher Biggins fronted game show On Safari - Safari, so goody! Although we're not sure which would offer a more unpleasant experience.

Of course, there's a serious side to all this, so Ainsley was quick to ask Nicola about what she'd learnt from working with Comic Relief, and she'd discovered that not all the money raised goes to Africa, effortlessly reeling off a couple of percentages that she'd definitely not been primed with before she went onto the set. Nic had also been to visit a hostel in Liverpool which deals with abused kids. Naturally this was quite an upsetting experience, but Nicola was bravely able to sum up the hurt, pain and anguish felt by the people there: "It's just not very nice". She also revealed herself to be something of a socialist by saying, "I just think that everyone should be on the same even keel". Well, we always knew she was a red.

Feeling, perhaps, that this line of questioning wasn't leading to the emotional depth he was looking for, Ainsley cruelly decided to move the interview onto an even more upsetting line of enquiry, asking Nicola how, with so many girls in the band, they decide who gets to sing what line. "It's the producers", answered Nicola, silently adding "those bastards" under her breath. "You get no say in the matter then", laughed Ainsley, insensitively, "That must really annoy you!". At this point Nicola began making and unmaking fists under the worktop and Ainsley wisely decided to go and have a chat with Heidi before he ended up with a frying pan to the face.

And so, the moment of truth, the meals are revealed and Gino is quick to play up Nicola's role in the cooking. "You added the salt and pepper, didn't you?", he said patronisingly, confusing Nic with a five year old child with special needs, but Nic didn't need Gino to talk up her game, she was keen to highlight the work she'd done and all the things she'd learnt in the last twenty minutes. "I added some green herbs", she said proudly, referring to the basil she added to the bruschetta. Or toast, as she would have put it. Unfortunately all her efforts were for naught as, with only one vote in it, Nicola lost to Heidi - boo, hiss, etc - and looked genuinely let down by the result. Still, she did better out of it than the Range did, as while Heidi was guilt tripped into giving her £100 pound prize money to Comic Relied, Nicola was free to keep her runners up prize of a food hamper all to herself. Or at least take it to her local branch of Lidl and exchange it for a multipack of Wotsits, with some turkey twizzlers thrown in for good measure.

Labels: Girls Aloud, Nicola Roberts, Ready Steady Cook, Red Nose Day, Sugababes

Welcome to The Hits Half Hour, a brand new feature here on TiaPL where we, umm, watch The Hits for half an hour and then tell you what we saw. As ideas go we fully realise that it's not exactly groundbreaking. Indeed, we're not convinced it even merits being called a thought, let alone an idea, but it does fill the gap that's been needing filled ever since Top of the Pops ceased broadcasting, so join us as we take in our first Hits Half Hour, between 17.47 and 18.17, Thursday 22nd March, 2007:-

• We join The Hits at the tail end of their daily Most Selected countdown and midway through number three, The Fray and How to Save a Life. In it lots of people cry, scream and generally look pretty upset. Well, you would too if you were forced to appear in the video for this sort of cod emotional tripe. The OC has a lot to answer for. The video also features a number of slogans: "18. Talk to somebody", "9. Love", "22. Cry", etc. Presumably this is the band attempting to save a live by offering a number of suggestions of some more pleasurable things to do instead of listening to this godforsaken song, an act which is likely to lead the viewer's thoughts turning to suicide if they make it through the whole three minutes. By the end of the vid all the people in it have started to cheer up. Well, having got through all that, you would, wouldn't you? We even allowed ourselves a wry smile, and we didn't even watch the whole thing.
  
• Some adverts. During this we learnt that Pete Waterman is hosting the 100 greatest pop songs on Saturday, that according to a massively representative sample of 200 people, women don't snack as much when they gorge themselves on yoghurt, that you can get some free manky sweatshirts if you buy some manky perfume, that the Dove adverts really are the most annoying on television, that Hilary Duff's new single will command us to the dancefloor and that the made up science of shampoo commercials has now come up with te concept of'pearl protein'. Whatever will they think of next?
  
• The second most requested record of the day is Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape. In it Gwen is trapped in a jail and, judging by the amount of gold and jewels which adorn her prison, it's clearly the sort of jail which exists only in the imagination of Daily Mail readers who firmly believe that prison is nothing more than a holiday camp. She has also stolen her look from Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice. As videos set in female prisons go, it's not exactly up there with Rachel Steven's I Said Never Again (But Here We Are), but bless her for trying.
  
• Surprisingly, number one is Girls Aloud versus Sugababes' cover of Walk This Way. If we were in a pitched battle with a rival gang we're not sure we'd want Heidi to be on our side. She doesn't look like she'd be very handy in a ruck.
  
• Next up on The Hits is the Best Duets Ever! Although they seem reluctant to actually go into detail about what criteria they're using to judge this, and given that first up is Westlife and Diana Ross doing When You Tell Me That You Love Me, we find it hard to imagine any set of circumstances where that track could have the word 'best' associated with it. It's probably worth pointing out here that Diana Ross is older than all of Westlife combined, and given that Westlife are not exactly spring chickens, that's one hell of an age to be. The set for this video features a stormy backdrop that wouldn't look out of place at an am-dram production of Sinbad the Sailor. With the amount of money that they've made you think they'd spend a bit more cash on their videos. Mind you, given the eagerness of their fanbase to lap up any old dross that they release, you can perhaps forgive them for not bothering to try too hard.
  
• The next pairing to entertain us are Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack with Tonight I Celebrate My Love. Peabo is sporting the eighties half moustache, a look which serves mainly to give the impression that the wearer isn't actually old enough to shave yet, while Roberta is dressed in a manner which seems to imply she was in the middle of doing some baking when the call for the video shoot came in. The song itself is a weak, sloppy slice of sentimental nonsense. Mushy Peabo, if you will. Arf!
  
• More adverts. This time we learnt, thanks to the "1+1=3" campaign to encourage people to get involved with Social Work, that becoming a social worker gives you the opportunity to train disabled people to do tricks, although the grounding it offers in mathematics leaves a lot to be desired.
  
• Finally, we have David Grant and Jakki Graham with Could It Be I'm Falling in Love. Given that David now has the vitaly important cultural role of working in the Fame Academy, the sort of educational establishment which makes even the City Academies look like a good idea, it's fortunate that he no longer has quite as stupid a hairstyle. Ahem.

Labels: David Grant, Diana Ross, Girls Aloud, Gwen Stefani, Hits Half Hour, Jakki Graham, Peabo Bryson, Roberta Flack, Sugababes, The Fray, Westlife

We were quite excited to read the news about the discovery of a brand new type of big cat today. It looks like an inverted leopard basically and, due to it's exclusivity, we're sure will soon be the hot new fashion accessory round tinsel town. Personally, we can't wait until we see Lindsay Lohan wandering around town with one on a lead. After all, if there's one thing we've learnt from reading Heat over the last few weeks, it's that these Hollywood starlets love nothing more than showing off their pussies.

We can't believe we just made that joke. Oh well, what we actually want to talk about today is the fact that it's Red Nose Day tomorrow, the time of year when transvestites around the country rejoice as it affords them the opportunity to legitimately go to work in a skirt, and amongst the various desperate efforts to try and exhort money from your pocket is this year's single, Walk This Way by Girls Aloud and Sugababes, a cover which, and please bear in mind here that our deep, all encompassing, and frankly worrying love for Girls Aloud is such that they could release a CD consisting of nothing but the sounds of them scratching their ears and we'd still be hailing it as a work of nothing less than genius, is nothing less than awful.

We can kinda see what they're trying to do with this, but it's a little bit like they've taken a large steak and kidney pie and topped it off with a big dollop of ice cream; both are fantastic on their own, but together it's just an unpleasant mess that works about as well as a pop star doing community service. There's also the problem that when Nicola can barely get a line when there's only five people jostling for position, having to fight seven other girls for the limelight isn't really going to give her much chance to shine, and so it is that she gets to do the "Hey diddle diddle line" and absolutely nothing else, although in the video they do let her dance around the microphone in a pleasing manner. Admittedly it's not the purpose the microphone was made for, but given that that's pretty much all she's been allowed to do with one ever since the band started out all those glorious years ago, she probably considers the act of singing into one to be a somewhat decadent and frivolous experience.

The video's crap as well, with all the girls attempting to look all street and tough, with none of Girls Aloud, bless, being able to really pull it off, although the 'Babes make a better fist of it, although most of their dirty looks are directed towards each other and not their supposed rivals. It also features, as all Comic Relief videos do, pointless cameos by supposed celebrities and comedians, of whom about half are actually recognisable. Although it does make history as it provides the first solid proof that Davina McCall isn't constantly pregnant as the circumstantial evidence would lead you to believe.

Still, it is for charity, so it'll probably do quite well. You'd probably be better off just donating your three quid straight to the cause though. Buying this will only encourage them.

Labels: Girls Aloud, Red Nose Day, Sugababes