Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Little Skirts Climbing Way Up The Knee, Thighs, Hips, Waist... We're Talking 'Little More Than Tops', Basically 

We were quite excited to read the news about the discovery of a brand new type of big cat today. It looks like an inverted leopard basically and, due to it's exclusivity, we're sure will soon be the hot new fashion accessory round tinsel town. Personally, we can't wait until we see Lindsay Lohan wandering around town with one on a lead. After all, if there's one thing we've learnt from reading Heat over the last few weeks, it's that these Hollywood starlets love nothing more than showing off their pussies.

We can't believe we just made that joke. Oh well, what we actually want to talk about today is the fact that it's Red Nose Day tomorrow, the time of year when transvestites around the country rejoice as it affords them the opportunity to legitimately go to work in a skirt, and amongst the various desperate efforts to try and exhort money from your pocket is this year's single, Walk This Way by Girls Aloud and Sugababes, a cover which, and please bear in mind here that our deep, all encompassing, and frankly worrying love for Girls Aloud is such that they could release a CD consisting of nothing but the sounds of them scratching their ears and we'd still be hailing it as a work of nothing less than genius, is nothing less than awful.

We can kinda see what they're trying to do with this, but it's a little bit like they've taken a large steak and kidney pie and topped it off with a big dollop of ice cream; both are fantastic on their own, but together it's just an unpleasant mess that works about as well as a pop star doing community service. There's also the problem that when Nicola can barely get a line when there's only five people jostling for position, having to fight seven other girls for the limelight isn't really going to give her much chance to shine, and so it is that she gets to do the "Hey diddle diddle line" and absolutely nothing else, although in the video they do let her dance around the microphone in a pleasing manner. Admittedly it's not the purpose the microphone was made for, but given that that's pretty much all she's been allowed to do with one ever since the band started out all those glorious years ago, she probably considers the act of singing into one to be a somewhat decadent and frivolous experience.

The video's crap as well, with all the girls attempting to look all street and tough, with none of Girls Aloud, bless, being able to really pull it off, although the 'Babes make a better fist of it, although most of their dirty looks are directed towards each other and not their supposed rivals. It also features, as all Comic Relief videos do, pointless cameos by supposed celebrities and comedians, of whom about half are actually recognisable. Although it does make history as it provides the first solid proof that Davina McCall isn't constantly pregnant as the circumstantial evidence would lead you to believe.

Still, it is for charity, so it'll probably do quite well. You'd probably be better off just donating your three quid straight to the cause though. Buying this will only encourage them.

Labels: , ,