Thursday, September 27, 2007
Avril Lavigne: A Life in Videos
It’s Avril Lavigne‘s birthday today! Or so VH1 reckons and we have no reason to doubt them, even if their judgement can be considered to be somewhat skewiff as they do insist on employing Jo Whiley and treating her as if she actually knows what she’s talking about. But either way Avril’s continued aging proves once again what does not need to be proved. Namely that there is Nothing Wrong with us having a crush on her. OK? Good.
Anyway, to celebrate here is a very brief look at Avril Lavigne: A Life in Videos:-
Complicated - In which Avril, along with her ‘punk’ band, who have clearly been supplied by Central Casting, run around a shopping centre, or ‘Mall’, causing havoc, shoplifting and generally acts like a brat whose parents didn’t instill into her the proper respect for authority and public decency that might be expected of a Canadian citizen., or at the very least someone who thinks that jumping into a fountain is the very height of rebellion and wildness. It does however reveal that Avril does use deodorant, which shows she is prepared to Not Smell, even if she’s not actually prepared to pay for the privilege.
Sk8r Boi - In which Avril puts on a guerrilla gig along with the help of her street team, who happily ignore all the rules that normally comes with being on a street team by graffitiing the venue all over town, using their flyers to indulge in what can only be called littering and causing a public obstruction by performing in the middle of a busy intersection, performing on top of some parked cars, so we can add criminal damage to the list too. Tsk! She then trashes said car with her guitar as a police helicopter hovers overhead. Perhaps now she will appreciate the gravity of what she’s done.
I’m With You - One thing that can be said about Avril’s videos is that if they have a chance to offer a literal interpretation of the song’s lyrics then they grab hold firmly of that chance with both hands, never losing grip - arf. Here, for example, Avril sings about it being a damp cold night while walking along a street on a damp cold night, at one point with snow behind her, lest the big thick jacket she’s wearing not be clue enough that it’s a bit chilly out. We should probably consider herself lucky that the vid for Complicated didn’t consist solely of her attempting to do a sudoku. As she walks we see her band, no longer the punky types of Complicated, have now been replaced by some more mature looking muso types as befit’s the more ‘serious’ nature of the song. Of course, we say band, as they mainly seem to be hanging around the street corners as Avril walks past they could well be just some hobos that the director thought would add some colour to proceedings. The rest of the vid shows Avril being a bit moody at a party because she doesn’t know anyone there. Then she leaves and meets her friends and is happy again. Tolstoy this ain’t. It’s not even up to Katie Price level.
Losing Grip - A ‘live’ video of her doing the song. But just when you think it’s going to be as unimaginative as this all the way through, you’re, umm, right. The nearest the director gets to inspiration is having another Avril in the crowd who gets a bit pushed around by some other people in the crowd. And that’s it. She does wear a nice green camo t-shirt in it, however. Which is nice.
Knocking on Heavens Door - This is a Serious Video about a Serious Subject - this is from the War Child album - and as befits all Serious Videos about Serious Subjects the video consists of nothing more than shots of the Serious Subject intercut with shots of Avril in the studio, looking thoughtful and emotional as she sings with one hand on her headphones, pondering on how totally amazing it is that she’s like totally saving the world.
My Happy Ending - Avril here plays the piano, smiles and wears a skirt. Three things that were previously thought to be so unlikely for Avril to do that Turning into a Rabbit Before Exploding into a Shower of Glitter would get you shorter odds at the bookmakers. This follows the ultra literal tradition of Avril vids by taking the lyrical tale of a relationship that Avril thought was going grand but turns out to be less than perfect by visually showing a tale of a relationship that Avril thought was going grand but turns out to be less than perfect, with a few shots of Miss Lavigne running down a street for no apparent reason, but appear to be from the same shoot as I’m With You so it’s probably to do with cost.
He Wasn’t - More tutu action from Avril as she dresses up in both devilish and angelic guises, and there’s also more literal interpretation action from the director here as the “He wouldn’t even open up the door” line is illustrated by someone closing a door in the Lavigne’s face and the “This is where I bite my nails” line shows our heroine biting nails, although in a crazy twist it’s someone else’s nails she’s biting! Our mind is bending under such bizarre trickery. The also trash the set of the video, perhaps in anger at the directors lack of imagination or perhaps because they’ve been to told to do so by the director in an attempt to give off a spirit of faux rebellion. Which can also be blamed on the director’s lack of imagination.
Girlfriend Three Avrils for the price of one! Be still our beating heart. Here Avril plays both herself, a goody-two-shoes character and an emo girl who reckons that she would be a better girlfriend to the goody’s boyfriend. You know, just like it says in the song, for those who are imbecilic enough to be unable to understand lyrics without being visually prompted. This she mainly does by bullying the goody and dressing the same as the object of her desire, which doesn’t strike us as good girlfriend material. Not, of course, that we’d turn her down. More importantly Avril finally does a proper dance routine. About bloody time.
When You’re Gone - In which Avril wears a nice dress and we have a “boyfriend going to fight in Iraq” subplot, proving if nothing else that it’s better when the directors take approach of translating the lyrics literally to screen as otherwise they just offer rehashes of the video for Green Day‘s Wake Me Up When September Ends which is nigh on the same as this. Although we don’t think Billy wore a nice dress for his vid.
So after all that what have we learnt? Only that Avril seriously needs to be given an Asbo. Oh well.
Anyway, to celebrate here is a very brief look at Avril Lavigne: A Life in Videos:-
Complicated - In which Avril, along with her ‘punk’ band, who have clearly been supplied by Central Casting, run around a shopping centre, or ‘Mall’, causing havoc, shoplifting and generally acts like a brat whose parents didn’t instill into her the proper respect for authority and public decency that might be expected of a Canadian citizen., or at the very least someone who thinks that jumping into a fountain is the very height of rebellion and wildness. It does however reveal that Avril does use deodorant, which shows she is prepared to Not Smell, even if she’s not actually prepared to pay for the privilege.
Sk8r Boi - In which Avril puts on a guerrilla gig along with the help of her street team, who happily ignore all the rules that normally comes with being on a street team by graffitiing the venue all over town, using their flyers to indulge in what can only be called littering and causing a public obstruction by performing in the middle of a busy intersection, performing on top of some parked cars, so we can add criminal damage to the list too. Tsk! She then trashes said car with her guitar as a police helicopter hovers overhead. Perhaps now she will appreciate the gravity of what she’s done.
I’m With You - One thing that can be said about Avril’s videos is that if they have a chance to offer a literal interpretation of the song’s lyrics then they grab hold firmly of that chance with both hands, never losing grip - arf. Here, for example, Avril sings about it being a damp cold night while walking along a street on a damp cold night, at one point with snow behind her, lest the big thick jacket she’s wearing not be clue enough that it’s a bit chilly out. We should probably consider herself lucky that the vid for Complicated didn’t consist solely of her attempting to do a sudoku. As she walks we see her band, no longer the punky types of Complicated, have now been replaced by some more mature looking muso types as befit’s the more ‘serious’ nature of the song. Of course, we say band, as they mainly seem to be hanging around the street corners as Avril walks past they could well be just some hobos that the director thought would add some colour to proceedings. The rest of the vid shows Avril being a bit moody at a party because she doesn’t know anyone there. Then she leaves and meets her friends and is happy again. Tolstoy this ain’t. It’s not even up to Katie Price level.
Losing Grip - A ‘live’ video of her doing the song. But just when you think it’s going to be as unimaginative as this all the way through, you’re, umm, right. The nearest the director gets to inspiration is having another Avril in the crowd who gets a bit pushed around by some other people in the crowd. And that’s it. She does wear a nice green camo t-shirt in it, however. Which is nice.
Knocking on Heavens Door - This is a Serious Video about a Serious Subject - this is from the War Child album - and as befits all Serious Videos about Serious Subjects the video consists of nothing more than shots of the Serious Subject intercut with shots of Avril in the studio, looking thoughtful and emotional as she sings with one hand on her headphones, pondering on how totally amazing it is that she’s like totally saving the world.
My Happy Ending - Avril here plays the piano, smiles and wears a skirt. Three things that were previously thought to be so unlikely for Avril to do that Turning into a Rabbit Before Exploding into a Shower of Glitter would get you shorter odds at the bookmakers. This follows the ultra literal tradition of Avril vids by taking the lyrical tale of a relationship that Avril thought was going grand but turns out to be less than perfect by visually showing a tale of a relationship that Avril thought was going grand but turns out to be less than perfect, with a few shots of Miss Lavigne running down a street for no apparent reason, but appear to be from the same shoot as I’m With You so it’s probably to do with cost.
He Wasn’t - More tutu action from Avril as she dresses up in both devilish and angelic guises, and there’s also more literal interpretation action from the director here as the “He wouldn’t even open up the door” line is illustrated by someone closing a door in the Lavigne’s face and the “This is where I bite my nails” line shows our heroine biting nails, although in a crazy twist it’s someone else’s nails she’s biting! Our mind is bending under such bizarre trickery. The also trash the set of the video, perhaps in anger at the directors lack of imagination or perhaps because they’ve been to told to do so by the director in an attempt to give off a spirit of faux rebellion. Which can also be blamed on the director’s lack of imagination.
Girlfriend Three Avrils for the price of one! Be still our beating heart. Here Avril plays both herself, a goody-two-shoes character and an emo girl who reckons that she would be a better girlfriend to the goody’s boyfriend. You know, just like it says in the song, for those who are imbecilic enough to be unable to understand lyrics without being visually prompted. This she mainly does by bullying the goody and dressing the same as the object of her desire, which doesn’t strike us as good girlfriend material. Not, of course, that we’d turn her down. More importantly Avril finally does a proper dance routine. About bloody time.
When You’re Gone - In which Avril wears a nice dress and we have a “boyfriend going to fight in Iraq” subplot, proving if nothing else that it’s better when the directors take approach of translating the lyrics literally to screen as otherwise they just offer rehashes of the video for Green Day‘s Wake Me Up When September Ends which is nigh on the same as this. Although we don’t think Billy wore a nice dress for his vid.
So after all that what have we learnt? Only that Avril seriously needs to be given an Asbo. Oh well.
Labels: A Life in Videos, Avril Lavigne, Videos
Monday, July 02, 2007
Lazy YouTube Pick of the Week
It's Canada Day today! A day when Canadians all around the world, but mainly in Canada, take time out to celebrate all that is good and ace and fantastic about the country. Some may wonder exactly why that needs a whole day, but they've got a lot to be proud of there's, umm, and, well there's, y'know, thingy and, yeah, like, other stuff. Definitely.
But one thing they can be proud of a certain lady by the name of Avril Lavigne, so to celebrate their special day, here's Avril performing Girlfriend at this year's MMVA's, Canada's big music award ceremony. It's worth pointing out that yes, that does seem to be less a microphone she's holding and more something that came free with a packet of cornflakes, but she does look amazing so that sort of criticism is, like, so whatever. It is, after all, what everybody's talking about.
But one thing they can be proud of a certain lady by the name of Avril Lavigne, so to celebrate their special day, here's Avril performing Girlfriend at this year's MMVA's, Canada's big music award ceremony. It's worth pointing out that yes, that does seem to be less a microphone she's holding and more something that came free with a packet of cornflakes, but she does look amazing so that sort of criticism is, like, so whatever. It is, after all, what everybody's talking about.
Labels: Avril Lavigne, Canada, YouTube
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Fashion, Don't You Know
Avril Lavigne's new album is out now, and it really is all kinds of aceness with, a few entirely unnecessary ballads aside, a "Hey Hey!" on every track and enough bubblegum fantasticness running through it to permanently put the Hubba Bubba corporation out of business. Naturally with Avril's star riding high at this moment in time, and with Avril, as she herself somewhat egotistically puts it, being "The best damn thing your eyes have ever seen", many of you will be wanting to ape her new found feminine look, so it's a good thing that we sent our Fashion Correspondent Laura out to persuade theSk8r Girl herself to pen a few words on just how to achieve her own unique style:-
Avril Lavigne's Guide To Not Letting Married Life Ruin Your Flair For Fashion.
Hello! It's Mrs Avril Whibley here, here to give you some friendly advice on how to stay down with the "kidz" in this hip-hop-happening world, along with some fashion tips from someone who is so in the know with the music world today that she's releasing a Rob Cavallo produced pop punk record literally years after Green Day milked the whole darn genre to death so now you're all sick and tired of it! MARKETING GENIUS!
You may have heard my new single which I released earlier this month called Girlfriend on your local wireless pod casting thing. This was the first step in a cunning strategy that I planned all by myself to try and convince the public that I'm not a boring old stay-at-home housewife, and I'm still down with it... whatever "it" may be.
I took my inspiration for this outfit from various sources - a quick trip down to a 'Fall Down Boys' concert this week let me mingle with some of these hip-kids of today. Ah, to be 18 again! I noted that many of the young girls on this 'scene' had an eccentric taste in what was considered sensible going-out wear. But nonetheless, I realised that children are the future, and I need to push aside my concerns that they all looked like they couldn't decide which outfit to wear and simply wore one item from each, and start working this style within my own wardrobe.
I started the outfit with a white t shirt, and a royal blue tartan skirt, which frankly looked hideous, but as I overhead one excitable young teen telling her friend that she "looked the shit", I could only assume that 'looking shit' is exactly how to get forward in the cut throat world of fashion!
Its absurdly short length meant that tights were an essential to this outfit, as obviously I don't want to 'do a Lisa Lohans' and let the world see an area that is just for my husband, and possibly Playboy if they offer me enough money, so I gave my good friend Paris Hilton a call. Paris gave me a recommendation, and although personally I'm more comfortable with the pairs of American Tan that I buy in bulk from Costco, Paris insisted that what they're calling 'fished nets' are all the rage. Immediately I went down to the docks to get myself some fished nets, and the fisherman that I spoke to said that I'd have to wait until he'd finished trawling for haddock. I can only assume that he was dealing drugs and preying on young children so I maced him and called the police once I'd escaped to a secure location.
Despite all this, I was concerned my outfit was still too conventional and I needed an 'edge' to really make it. Ideally, I was after some sort of suit of armour to really crank up the kooky side, but unfortunately Primark didn't seem to stock any. I briefly considered trying to whip up my own with some plastic shopping bags I saw by the door, but I was all out of sellotape, so that had to stay a dream. One day, though... One day...
I was really looking for the piéce de résistance to make my outfit truly look like a fancy dress shop had vomited on me, but I was having little success in my search. Inspiration, as it often does, failed to hit me, so I decided to go home and have a think about it while I did my husband's laundry. Short of doing a Superman and wearing my underwear over my clothes, I was somewhat restricted with what I could do.
As I pondered this thought, suddenly it hit me! It was so foolishly obvious, I laughed at myself for not thinking of it before! I decided to borrow my husband's rugby socks and put these on over my tights! GENIUS!
They smelt a little bit so I soaked them for a while in some Dettol and then advised my darling beloved to next time sprinkle the insides of his socks with talcum powder as this absorbs any perspiration and keeps your shoes powder fresh. Top tip folks, if you want to go get a pen and paper to write that down, I'll wait for you to get back.
The look was nearly complete, I just needed one last touch to finish it off. I decided to go decorate our marital home in my new album's colour scheme while hoping that the muse would strike again, but just I was getting started on this really Complicated - ha ha! - task I slipped over in my silly stilettos, and knocked paint all over myself. See, told you it was complicated!
I spent the best part of the afternoon washing my hair with white spirit in an effort to get it all out but, as hard as I tried to remove it, some neon pink still remained in my hair. In the end I gave up and went off to my photoshoot with my new fantastic outfit. As I walked in, the stylist winked at me and said 'Pink hair! I love it Avril, it's totally showing off your rebellious side, the kids are going to love it!' I didn't want to tell him it was a fortunate mistake, so I glared at him and told him to shut the fuck up.
I may be a housewife, but I'm still a miserable old bitch after all.
Hello! It's Mrs Avril Whibley here, here to give you some friendly advice on how to stay down with the "kidz" in this hip-hop-happening world, along with some fashion tips from someone who is so in the know with the music world today that she's releasing a Rob Cavallo produced pop punk record literally years after Green Day milked the whole darn genre to death so now you're all sick and tired of it! MARKETING GENIUS!
You may have heard my new single which I released earlier this month called Girlfriend on your local wireless pod casting thing. This was the first step in a cunning strategy that I planned all by myself to try and convince the public that I'm not a boring old stay-at-home housewife, and I'm still down with it... whatever "it" may be.
I took my inspiration for this outfit from various sources - a quick trip down to a 'Fall Down Boys' concert this week let me mingle with some of these hip-kids of today. Ah, to be 18 again! I noted that many of the young girls on this 'scene' had an eccentric taste in what was considered sensible going-out wear. But nonetheless, I realised that children are the future, and I need to push aside my concerns that they all looked like they couldn't decide which outfit to wear and simply wore one item from each, and start working this style within my own wardrobe.
I started the outfit with a white t shirt, and a royal blue tartan skirt, which frankly looked hideous, but as I overhead one excitable young teen telling her friend that she "looked the shit", I could only assume that 'looking shit' is exactly how to get forward in the cut throat world of fashion!
Its absurdly short length meant that tights were an essential to this outfit, as obviously I don't want to 'do a Lisa Lohans' and let the world see an area that is just for my husband, and possibly Playboy if they offer me enough money, so I gave my good friend Paris Hilton a call. Paris gave me a recommendation, and although personally I'm more comfortable with the pairs of American Tan that I buy in bulk from Costco, Paris insisted that what they're calling 'fished nets' are all the rage. Immediately I went down to the docks to get myself some fished nets, and the fisherman that I spoke to said that I'd have to wait until he'd finished trawling for haddock. I can only assume that he was dealing drugs and preying on young children so I maced him and called the police once I'd escaped to a secure location.
Despite all this, I was concerned my outfit was still too conventional and I needed an 'edge' to really make it. Ideally, I was after some sort of suit of armour to really crank up the kooky side, but unfortunately Primark didn't seem to stock any. I briefly considered trying to whip up my own with some plastic shopping bags I saw by the door, but I was all out of sellotape, so that had to stay a dream. One day, though... One day...
I was really looking for the piéce de résistance to make my outfit truly look like a fancy dress shop had vomited on me, but I was having little success in my search. Inspiration, as it often does, failed to hit me, so I decided to go home and have a think about it while I did my husband's laundry. Short of doing a Superman and wearing my underwear over my clothes, I was somewhat restricted with what I could do.
As I pondered this thought, suddenly it hit me! It was so foolishly obvious, I laughed at myself for not thinking of it before! I decided to borrow my husband's rugby socks and put these on over my tights! GENIUS!
They smelt a little bit so I soaked them for a while in some Dettol and then advised my darling beloved to next time sprinkle the insides of his socks with talcum powder as this absorbs any perspiration and keeps your shoes powder fresh. Top tip folks, if you want to go get a pen and paper to write that down, I'll wait for you to get back.
The look was nearly complete, I just needed one last touch to finish it off. I decided to go decorate our marital home in my new album's colour scheme while hoping that the muse would strike again, but just I was getting started on this really Complicated - ha ha! - task I slipped over in my silly stilettos, and knocked paint all over myself. See, told you it was complicated!
I spent the best part of the afternoon washing my hair with white spirit in an effort to get it all out but, as hard as I tried to remove it, some neon pink still remained in my hair. In the end I gave up and went off to my photoshoot with my new fantastic outfit. As I walked in, the stylist winked at me and said 'Pink hair! I love it Avril, it's totally showing off your rebellious side, the kids are going to love it!' I didn't want to tell him it was a fortunate mistake, so I glared at him and told him to shut the fuck up.
I may be a housewife, but I'm still a miserable old bitch after all.
Labels: Avril Lavigne, Fashion
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
10 Things We State About...
Former Sk8r Girl Avril Lavigne is back! And, along with the tomboy look, she's also ditched the sulkpop of previous albums and has returned with a full on blast of bubblegum, shouty, Toni Basil-iant piece of pop genius - and the word 'genius' is certainly not one we bandy about so often that we've rendered it entirely meaningless - in the shape of Girlfriend How fantastic! To celebrate here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about pop's moodiest little madam:-- Obsessed by tubers from a young age, Avril once spent an enjoyable summer carving a model man entirely from mashed tatties. This was immortalised in her early hit, Pot8er Boi.
- Like Alanis Morrisette, Mike Myers and an overwhelming sense of moral and social superiority over your neighbours, Avril Lavigne is Canadian.
- Despite her claims that her new found feminine image and current fondness for skirts is entirely down to her, in actual fact it's a result of Avril's mum finally putting her foot down and demanding that she start "dressing like a young lady" as she's "embarrassed being seen out with her dressed like that".
- Avril's hair is now so straight that she donates large chunks of it to impoverished schools in the third world so that, despite lacking many pieces of essential equipment, they do at least have access to a ruler substitute.
- Despite her fame, Avril found that her sulky teen image led people to treat her with a lack of respect and disdain, a treatment which was entirely out of sync with her celebrity and influence. Even doormen at top hotels would refuse to do their duty for her, happily letting the doors slam back and hit her on her arse. It was this experience that led her both to write He Wasn't and stop entering top hotels shouting the phrase "I can buy you, eh" at all members of staff while simultaneous giving them the finger.
- Avril's Happy Ending turned out to be getting married to Derek Whibley from out of Sum 41. Prior to this Fat Lip was the best thing that he'd ever done.
- It's not only her boyfriend that Avril considers to be Complicated, she also has problems with Rubik Cubes, translating the London Underground map into real world situations and doors marked with the legend 'Pull'.
- Dyslexic fans often find themselves disappointed when they turn up at Italian restaurants expecting to see a gig from their favourite popstar, only to find out that the only thing on offer is actually lasagne.
- She's so tiny that, rather than going to the expense of hiring a private jet, Avril flies to every gig on the back of a friendly bumble bee and her rider consists of nothing more than a thimblefull of milk and a handful of cake crumbs.
- Seriously, Girlfriend is all kinds of aceness. Go buy, go buy!
Labels: 10 Things, Avril Lavigne
