Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Girls Asunder 

If today's News of the World is to be believed - and frankly we even double check the date in that paper, but never mind - the Girls Aloud are planning on splitting up in September after they fulfill all their touring and festival commitments. Of course, these days split rumours start to flow pretty much five minutes after a pop band releases their first single, but in this case, and it does pain us to say so, it probably is true. All good things must eventually come to an end and, as the girls are heading closer and closer to the age were they can't legitimately be described as girls any more, it's no real surprise that they're beginning to think about their futures, but what do they have in mind for when they hang up their tambourines? Five solo careers? Five modelling contracts? Or five presenting jobs on some obscure cable station, way off the beaten track on the digiguide? Um, well, this, apparently:

Sarah Harding sees being a Bond Girl as her future role. Presumably she sees her current sideline in standing around in her pants to promote Debenhams as part of her audition piece, easing into the job before moving onto the slightly more taxing position of standing around in her bikini instead.

Nadine Coyle also fancies the acting lark, although we don't think she's got much experience in the field. Unless you count pretending to look surprised when a photographer takes yet another embarrassing snap as she goes out once again in a ridiculously short skirt, of course. It seems that her acting ambitions may stem more from her desire to head LA-wards to be close to former/current (Please delete according to the current state of play between them as you read this. They seem to break up more often than a cheap cracker) boyfriend Jesse Metcalfe, rather than any deeply held thespian ambitions, and we get the feeling that his Desperate Housewives pay packet will be more than enough to keep her in the manner to which she's become accustomed without needing to actually work herself.

Cheryl Tweedy - Or Cole, if you prefer. Which she seems to. Mind you, as the Tweedy name does have a criminal record attached to it we can see why she might want to distance herself from it - is the only one who seems to be eyeing up a solo career, which surprises us as we felt pretty sure that she'd be the first one to find herself trying to find an onstage look which combines the sexiness we've come to expect along with the comfortableness and practicality of maternity wear, but never mind. Given the success of other former girlband members who've tried to make it on their own terms we can only wish her success with this endeavour and hope like hell that she's got a plan B as a back up.

And finally, both Kimberley Walsh and the always lovely Nicola Roberts both have the same ambition, which is to be "high flying business women". Now, we don't claim to possess any sort of understanding of the world which high-flying executive types live in. Hell, we've only just about managed to grasp the concept of "Buy low, sell high", but even so, we feel that their stated business plan is ever so slightly vague and could do with being fleshed out just a tad. After all currently it barely even counts as an ambition, let alone a project that could in any way be described as, well, a project full stop. Still, they'll be auditioning for the next series of The Apprentice in September and, with her success on the show, we're sure Cheryl could put in a good word for them.

In short, then: Oh dear. Let's enjoy it while it lasts.