Monday, August 02, 2004
And so, we continue on with our surprisingly controversial Chart Attack feature. Let's see who we can offend this week...
- 1 to 10 - The Pop Success Zone
Another new number 1, this time it's Busted who've knocked The Streets into the number 2 slot with their double A-sided single. Thunderbirds are Go! is an excellent track, 3AM, on the other hand, is pretty dull, making this single officially, thanks to the power of averages, not bad. Had we included their cover of Soul Asylum's Runaway Train in our deliberation, however, then it would be the second worst single ever released; the worst being Soul Asylum and Runaway Train.
Also saying hello to the world of the Top 5 is D12 with How Come, another song which isn't good enough for Eminem's solo career so he passes it down to his crew who make an even bigger dog's dinner of it. Unlikely to be listened to again next week, let alone next year.
- 11 to 20 - The Pop Failure Zone
Only one new entry here and it's Ex-Brookie Slapper and "Scouse Minx"(C) All Tabloid Articles About Her Ever, Jennifer Ellison. She hits the dizzying heights of number 13 with her second single Bye Bye Boy, and 13 will probably prove to be her unlucky number as if she can't manage a second top ten hit after appearing on a high profile cookery based TV show, we can't see her being allowed to release any more records, no matter how willing she may be to writhe around half-naked in the video. We actually quite like this, not to the extent where we'd pay money for it, even if it is strangely reminiscent of Jemini's rubbish Eurovision entry, Cry Baby.
- 21 to 30 - The Pointless Zone
The Charlatans are the first of three new entries here with Try Again Today at number 24. We've not heard this but, unless the Charlatans have suddenly transformed into an entirely different band, we feel we can safely say that it's a load of pish. Next up is Sunderland's favourite shouty, angular sons, The Futureheads, who's Decent Days and Nights single enters at 26. In it the singer rants on about following clues, very much like a drunk Richard O'Brien wandering round the Crystal Maze with a guitar instead of a harmonica and, as such, is very good indeed.
Finally, we come to the shining hopes of 'mature' pop, Mania, who have stormed straight into the hearts of the Record Buying Public by hitting the dizzying heights of, ummm, number 29. This seems hugely unfair given that the song features some top whistling action, which should surely have pushed it well into the upper reaches of the top 20. Lets hope they get a chance for a follow up as there's a definite spark here.
- 31 to 40 - The Indie Success Zone
Ex-Blur bloke and all round indie curmudgeon, Graham Coxon has settled in quite happily at number 32 with Spectacular, and it's pretty much exactly what you'd expect a Graham Coxon single which has entered the chart at number 32 to sound like.