Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

But What About The Elephants? 

So, Blue are going to be representing the UK in Eurovision this year. The "Who?" we know, but the "Why?" is something we're still struggling to understand. Perhaps, aware of the fact that Ireland might be sending Jedward overseas, we've decided to send a joke act in as well, or perhaps they overheard someone saying that the UK only wins Eurovision once in a blue moon and got confused. Who knows, the only thing that's certain is that we're going to be the first act to ever get negative points in the competition.

The song is called I Can - which may be an attempt to trick people into voting for it by making them believe they're pre-registering for the latest Apple hypertech gizmo - and, while we've not actually heard it yet, we do know exactly what it's going to sound like and will not be surprised when they start making anguished expressions towards the camera two thirds of the way through the song, just before they get up from their stools in time for the final key change. Antony has certainly been practicing for this moment, having recently been caught with an anguished expression on his face as he stood at a cash machine, not only taking money out and having a conversation on his phone, but embracing the world of multitasking by merrily pissing down his leg as he did so. Still, who says Blue can't produce a number one these days?

Rumours that Lee Ryan is going to have his tongue removed to stop him saying anything stupid before the contest are entirely correct, and are unlikely to hamper his singing ability in anyway whatsoever.