Monday, January 24, 2011
2 Become 1
...and that's the sort of cutting edge headline that can only be in reference to an equally cutting edge music news story. Yes, we're pleased to announce that Emma Bunton and Jade Jones have got engaged. Apparently. The news was announced on the entirely reliable source of Twitter, but as this is now the 21st century, it only becomes official when she changes her Facebook relationship status to "engaged". (And incidentally, we'd like to recommend the new Beyonce plug in for Facebook. It's exactly the same as normal, but instead of having a "Like" button it has "Put a ring on it".)
While Emma currently earns a living as a judge on Dancing On Ice, a job for which she is as qualified for as we are to be a brain surgeon, you will, of course, know her mainly from her time in the Spice Girls, where she "was" Baby Spice, a role which required her to wear her hair in bunches, dress in little girl-esque clothes, talk about loving her teddy and generally act like someone who wasn't a fully grown adult. This was the late nineties where you could get away with such things, nowadays any record company executive who suggested such a thing would have their house burnt down for being a suspected paedophile before he'd even finished the sentence, but they were more innocent times, before the horrific events in 2001 shocked us all and made us a more troubled and fearful people. We are, of course, referring to Geri Halliwell's cover of It's Raining Men.
On the other hand, you might know her husband to be if... you know him. He's probably the least famous Jade in the world, and we are including the one from the Sugababes in our calculations here. He did have minor pop success in the nineties with the band Damage - don't go to YouTube, it's not worth it - although even then his profile was so negligible that his appearances in magazines - normally with his new fiancee - always included a brief description of who he was, to the extent Emma is going to have to take "From Damage" as her married name.
Still, we wish them all the best, and look forward to the reading the inevitable made up stories about which of her former bandmates doesn't get asked to be a bridesmaid. By the way, our money's on Mel C mainly because tracksuits don't really cut it as wedding wear, even if you use lace for the stripes up the side of each leg.
While Emma currently earns a living as a judge on Dancing On Ice, a job for which she is as qualified for as we are to be a brain surgeon, you will, of course, know her mainly from her time in the Spice Girls, where she "was" Baby Spice, a role which required her to wear her hair in bunches, dress in little girl-esque clothes, talk about loving her teddy and generally act like someone who wasn't a fully grown adult. This was the late nineties where you could get away with such things, nowadays any record company executive who suggested such a thing would have their house burnt down for being a suspected paedophile before he'd even finished the sentence, but they were more innocent times, before the horrific events in 2001 shocked us all and made us a more troubled and fearful people. We are, of course, referring to Geri Halliwell's cover of It's Raining Men.
On the other hand, you might know her husband to be if... you know him. He's probably the least famous Jade in the world, and we are including the one from the Sugababes in our calculations here. He did have minor pop success in the nineties with the band Damage - don't go to YouTube, it's not worth it - although even then his profile was so negligible that his appearances in magazines - normally with his new fiancee - always included a brief description of who he was, to the extent Emma is going to have to take "From Damage" as her married name.
Still, we wish them all the best, and look forward to the reading the inevitable made up stories about which of her former bandmates doesn't get asked to be a bridesmaid. By the way, our money's on Mel C mainly because tracksuits don't really cut it as wedding wear, even if you use lace for the stripes up the side of each leg.
