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Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

10 Things We State About... 

Yeah, we're bringing this back as well. No-one ever said we were original.

Rumours are abounding that Abba are about to reform. Of course, rumours about Abba reforming abound so often that they are now considered to be a lucrative source of rubber by the Goodyear tyre company, and their appearance have an unusual tendency to coincide with Mamma Mia DVD releases or the umpteenth reissue of Abba Gold, so it's likely that these rumours carry about as much weight as Taylor Swift holding a helium balloon. Still, as long as there are hen nights, there will always be a market for Abba records, so to celebrate here are ten entirely true and in no way made up facts about Sweden's national songsmiths:-
  1. Abba is an acronym of the babd's initials: Attractive, Beardy, Beardy, Ah Well.
  2. Sweden recently replaced it's programme of National Service with one year's forced conscription in an Abba tribute band. Despite this they still struggle to meet the demand.
  3. Cartoon character Fred Flinstone was a massive Abba fan, which was evidenced every week when he'd shout out his well known catchphrase: "I bloody love Abba, me"
  4. Chess, the musical written by Bjorn and Benny, was intended as a sequel to Mousetrap.
  5. Quoting the lyrics of Waterloo in their entirety guarantees you a place studying History at Oxford.
  6. It is always hilarious, upon seeing a plate of canap├ęs, to point at them and start singing "Voul au vent!" to the tune of Voulez Vous.
  7. All of Abba's songs were based on the A-B-B-A chord progression.
  8. They failed to win any Oscars for Abba: The Movie, despite feeling confident of getting a nod for Best Supporting Band.
  9. Mamma Mia is banned in Italy as it's believed to perpetuate racist stereotypes. his decision was made by culture secretary Mario Luigi whilst having a plate of-a spicy meatballs.
  10. And look, we managed to get through this entire piece without lazily mentioning Eurovision. Ah, shit.