Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth: Live - Hour Six: 19.36PM 

And from the sublime to the ridiculous. Or Corrine Bailey Rae, as she's otherwise known, who opens with I'd Like To. Well, it is nearly tea time and the burger van operators were no doubt informed well in advance of her stage times so that they could prepare for the rush. As she performed the Live Earth pledges were scrolling along the screen behind her and it's a testament to how boring she is that we were actually trying to read them. Next up is a cover of Marvin Gaye's Mercy Mercy Me, for which she is joined by John Legend. Have we not suffered enough? Unsurprisingly, with the two of them involved the song because aural wallpaper, or a typical Corrine Bailey Rae song to put it another way. "Here's a song which hopefully you'll all know", is her somewhat threatening introduction to her last song, Put Your Records On and yes, we do all know it. Given it was played in every single shop we went into last summer we'd be hard pushed not to. But just remember there's a huge difference between knowing a song and liking it, Miss Rae. We'd rather have seen Linkin Park in Tokyo again, to be honest, that's how bad this was.

Terra Naomi doing Don't Say it's Possible is up next. We don't want to go all Nikki on you, but Who is she? Who is she?!? Is this really the best place to be breaking the new KT Tunstall/Melua hybrid who has all the presence of an unloved orphan at Christmas time? Apparently Al Gore booked her. Perhaps he's trying to get into her pants.

"We need your help for the next song", cried out the blokey, looking slightly sweaty in a manner reminiscent of withdrawal symptoms, "I don't care if you don't know the words, or the song, or you can't sing. I just want to fill this stadium with the sound of people singing as loud as they can". A dangerous proposition, asking the audience to sing any song they like, even more so if you happen to be Keane, but that's what Tom did as they opened with Somewhere Only We Know, the song that made us briefly think the band might actually be quite good,before bitter, bitter experience taught us otherwise. He stayed true to his word though, optimistically thrusting his microphone towards various sections of the crowd, each time being met with a deathly silence. "One more time!" he cried at the end. Just once would surely have been enough for him.

The keyboard blokey threw some rock shapes as they started up Is It Any Wonder, and they closed with Bedshaped, but as our Chinese turned up at this point we weren't paying much attention so we've got no idea what it was like. Alright, probably.

In Hamburg, Enrqiue Iglesias has been doing Bailamos, much to the delight of the crowd, who aren't even phased by the fact he's only wearing a hoodie and jeans and hasn't even made even the merest hint of effort for such a big event. He takes photos of himself using fans cameras, although it's not immediately obvious whether he actually gives them back.

The BBC aren't too sure about broadcasting Metallica, so we join them part of the way through Sad But True as the hairy rockers, sporting facial hair that would shame even the most ardent of their teenage fans, do 'heavy' for the crowd. If Bloc Party seemed out of place then these guys are like waking up to find penguins in Hull. The do Nothing Else Matters, AKA the one that your average punter might actually have heard of which even sparks a sing-a-long, but the BBC decide that that's more than enough metal for one night and shows us Crowded House in Sydney and Katie Melua in Hamburg. We think we'd have preferred Metallica.

CURRENT CARBON FOOTPRINT: An elephant lumbering despondently towards the elephant's graveyard. It's gait weighed down by the knowledge this is the last trip it'll ever make.

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